mcollinknight

Business the First: what is up with the top of my layout? Garg.

Business the Second: had another play rehearsal last night, which was EPIC. EPICALLY AMAZING. Robin was mostly working upstairs with the goddesses on their whole song'n'dance routine, so Ratanadawong, Cooper, Prop and I were holed up in a room to practice our lines. In this room there was a bucket of crayons and a bucket of glitter. Needless to say, we were distracted.
PROP: YAY CRAYONS. *bounces one off the table*
CRAYON: *goes directly down the front of Colline's dress*
PROP: :O :O
COLLINE: I hate being the only girl in the room.
PROP: Waitwait hold still, lemme try that again.

I am so ridiculously impressed with Prospero every single time we rehearse - not the least because he's doing so well on memorising his MAMMOTH NOVEL of lines. He's almost got the whole of act one done, except for that he wriggles and kicks at things when he can't remember, so the whole thing looks like some sort of interpretive dance, or like he's standing there explaining things to me but can't wait until he can go to the washroom afterwards. During our big opening scene we kept giggling and biting our lips as we tried to get the lines right, and at the very last minute of it, when he kneels down to whisper to me - it's a very intense moment - I crossed my eyes at him and we were just LOST, it was amazing. Some lines, though, are harder to memorise:
PROP: "My zenith tells me upon this time my prescience does depend-" CRAP! I mixed them up. "My prescience tells me-"
COLLINE: Look, no-one knows what those words mean anyway. You might as well just make stuff up.

PROP: "I left the government of the state to my brother-" Wait, is that...?
COLLINE: No, it's the other way 'round.
PROP: What? Oh, it's backwards! "The government of the state, I left to my brother..."
...
PROP: Shakespeare's such a dick.

Robin gave Prospero his Shiny Purple Cape of Magic That HeTalks To, and Prop was hopelessly in love with it. Robin also changed one of my scenes and told me she wanted me to put - and I quote - "SEX" in it. In capital letters. LOLOL FOREVER. It's actually quite fun to do, though it was hard to fit the change in attitude into the lines with both Cooper and Prop just standing there staring. AW-KWARD. Finally, I got it, and was rewarded with a "OH! YES! COLLINE, I LOVE YOU" from Robin <3 <3 <3

Along with making my acting "juicier. I want more, in every way!" (ahhhh Robin ilu) I have also been charged with creating an LJ for the play, complete with pictures from last year's performance. *~RANDOM~*  However, not nearly as random as Prop breaking out into 'Thriller' every ten minutes is.

I JUST BOOKED MY FLIGHT TO DEEEEEEEE CEEEEEEEEEEE!

And you know what this means.

After a zillion different changes in travel plans (train? plane? automobile? flying slingshot monkey?), months spent convincing the parentals (repeat after me: scary internet people are not always scary), and countless exclamation points flying in the Rahmulans Spam Thread, I have actually manned up, whipped out my Aeroplan card, and booked a flight to Washington to visit monsieur_poneypants!

Last night I was roughly 30 seconds away from cancelling the whole damn thing and going up to my cottage for the weekend instead, since Amtrak was going to take 15000 hours and American Airlines was trying to make me pay $900 ($900!!! YEAUGH!) while Virgin was telling me I should just fly to Aruba instead. However, I did have frequent flier points to redeem, and so I now have a free** flight there and back XD XD XD

So instead I shall have a four-day weekend full of cheesecake from Chicago, eating at Rasika and *~*"running into"*~* Rahm, museums, and seeing Second City shows, all the while quote-swapping with Jenn and geeking out over the fact that I am in WASHINGTON, with OBAMA and ROMAN BUILDINGS (stupid Ottawa and its stupid Gothic architecture. I need COLUMNS in my life of political fannery) and silly American things like CHEESE IN A SPRAY CAN (or, since I shall be spending the weekend with Mlle Anderson herself, whipped cream in a spray can).

I am planning on coming back with a multitude of postcards for the Ladies of Spam (*~*you know who you are*~*) and an unholy stash of Diet Peach Snapple and Americone Dream (wtf Canada for not selling them). Do you think customs will let me smuggle ice cream into an airplane? Are these questions I'm allowed to be asking?

**for a given definition of the word 'free.' Read: $150 in stupid airline fees. I hate beaurocracy.

I CAN'T WAAAAAAAAAAIT :D :D :D

I spent most of the day out at Kirby's Beach - Muskoka's best-kept secret. Well, okay: it's not really a secret, but the secret is that on windy days, the place is perfectly lovely, but nearly empty. It's a small park with tall shady trees and and even smaller beach, stretching out to hug a small bay of Lake Muskoka. It's always been my favourite beach, from the many times I went there with my family as a kid (hustled, still dripping and sandy, into the back of the car at the end of the day) and the chance few times I've gone there with friends (like the time Jaden and I rode out there on our bikes, lemonade and strawberries in our backpacks).

I spent the late morning in and out of the water, reading my book and listening to music and tanning. I didn't want to be at the beach by myself, especially since the place was EMPTY, so I went and got jessica_june and we spent the rest of the afternoon eating raspberries, pretending to be water ballerinas (WHAT. I AM FIVE IN MY HEAD, OKAY?) and talking about working in retail, boys showing off in cars, and people we knew that were pregnant (a surprising amount).

It was a perfect sunny day (a bit cool), but I enjoyed it, even though I got a sunburn (!) on my upper back. I'm getting more and more used to driving the Little Black Pony around - I still stall sometimes, especially at intersections (it's when the pressure's on that I freak out), but it's getting more natural, and I'm more and more proud to have something to check off my summer list. I'm making myself a pact, though: next time I have to learn something that frustrates me, I am NOT going to freak out and cry about it, because in a day or two it will be easier and I'll be better at it, and no matter how out-of-control you feel, that will pass.

Speaking of crossing things off lists, it's time for a Mission101 update!
17. Learn to drive standard.
39. Travel overseas on an international development/aid trip.
67. Go horseback riding again.
96. Find ten quotes I really, really like.

I think I'm going to have to adjust my Mission101 goals, because a lot of them are either not what I really meant, unattainable, or not what I want to focus on anymore.

Also: where are all the peaches and Ontario strawberries? I know it's not quite peach season yet, but there are ZERO Ontario strawberries to be found anywhere - I tried two grocery stores and the veggie store today. Je suis un sad panda.

I did end up getting to Toronto on my birthday, although I didn't get to go to the zoo or visit any friends; instead, I took Yaden shopping and we braved NOT ONLY the 400, but also the 401 and the DVP (crazy highways). Even though I've been driving since I was 13, it was my first time city driving, AND my first time on any 400-series highways, and I think I did a pretty good job of it. I had written out instructions, which Yaden read to me while I freaked out. We were giggly and drunk on our successful navigating ("OMG I SEE THE SIGN!" "Wait, is that the one we want? Agh I don't know what's going ooooon!" "Aha! I see it! That's us! Coming throuuuuuuuugh!"). It was a day of words with extended vowels.

Once at Don Mills I had a great time flipping around Anthropologie, a store whose website I have been stalking since roughly October (they have such pretty dresses!). There's only one in Canada, so I made it my mission to get there, despite having to spend $50 in gas to do so. I did indeed buy a dress, but since there wasn't much else in Don Mills, we went to Vaughan Mills instead.
COLLINE: Wow, I had no idea Don Mills was an outdoor mall, how strange! This is so cool!
YADEN: Careful. Your country hick is showing.
COLLINE: Dude, I drove on the DVP, I have street cred now.

Of course, our good luck was not to last, although our good spirits did. On our way out of Toronto - having neglected to write out instructions on how to get BACK - I got on the 401. The 401 eastbound. My mistake did not occur to me (I mean, why would a highway go two separate ways? COME ON) until I saw a curious sign. It said 'Welcome to Pickering.'
COLLINE: Why are we in Pickering?
YADEN: Where's Pickering? It sounds like a fish town.
COLLINE: That's pickerel. And we should not be in Pickering. Get out the map and find out where we are.
YADEN: ... WE'RE IN *PICKERING*?!?!

We managed to get off the highway in Ajax - though if I hadn't had my little sister with me I probably wouldn't have noticed until the time I got to Kingston - and we sat in a parking lot and figured out a game plan. We managed to get back on the 401 westbound and make our way back to Toronto and then Vaughan.
YADEN: I hate Ajax. I'm never coming here again.
COLLINE: Not even by accident?

It was overall a successful day, even though we didn't really shop - all we bought was my dress, lunch, gas, and Yaden's tank top. But as birthdays go, I feel as though I gained not just one year but several. Highway driving is stressful. I've never been claustrophobic while driving before, but passing an eighteen-wheeler and being between its mountain and a concrete median with only a few feet to spare? That's stressful. I kept making squeaking noises and Yaden and I kept up a constant strem of chatter about how proud we were of ourselves. I'm very glad I had my truck and not the Little Black Pony, though. Even more pleasing was the fact that all the slegehammer-swinging (in Kenya) and exercising (in Canada) and Eating Lots of Vegetables has done me well and I have shrunk two dress sizes. No idea how that happened, BUT I LIKE IT.

BITE ME, WORLD. I RULE. This girl has a new dress, has kicked a highway's ass in the rain, and can beat you in an armwrestling match. It can only get better ;)

Coyote just wrote on my facebook wall: "SARAH PALIN QUIT!!! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MY LIFE?!?! :("

Such is the life of a PIDSSA student, I suppose :)

I'm making this entry soon after I was able to stop crying. You guys, I got a PIANO for my birthday. My parents bought me a PIANO. I can't even handle this. It's not a real piano, it's a keyboard, but it's a nice one and I can't even deal with how awesome they are and how much this means to me and how much I am going to play the snot out of it once I stop being sick. I just... I missed having a piano so much this year, I've had a piano ever since I was seven years old, and to have one again makes me all kinds of happy and squishy. Below the cut is the Writer's Craft piece I wrote a few weeks ago about my old piano, and which I am very proud of.

( And the cat played moonlight sonatas... )

Of course I had to tell Jeremy, since he would understand, and after expressing his delight in varied forms of profanity, he had questions.
JEREMY: Are the keys weighted?
COLLINE: I - what... what does that mean?
JEREMY: Colline. How can you have played piano for twelve years and not know the difference?
COLLINE: I don't know.
JEREMY: *asks more techno questions*
COLLINE: It... it looks pretty. I like it. It's shiny and it's mine.
JEREMY: I hope you'll be very happy together. Phone me if you can't figure out how to turn it on.

Other Things:
-My dad tried to make me drive his Jetta into town this morning in an effort to teach me how to drive standard in a Baptism by Fire. However, if I learn properly tomorrow, I'm allowed to drive to Toronto this week on my day off. I want to go to the zoo! And visit Jeremy and Coyote! And buy a dress! And listen loudly to Bruce Springsteen ALL THE WAY THERE. AND BACK.
-Today I met Kenny of the tv show Kenny vs Spenny - it's a Canadian reality show where they just have stupid competitions and whoever loses has to be humiliated (like 'Who can stay naked the longest?' or 'Who can smoke the most pot?'). It's crude, but it's pretty popular - Kenny came into the Toy Store today! Even though I'm not a fan, it was still pretty cool.

PS Happy Birfday, America!

First OoB: We found the dog! We were looking after my aunt's dog (which is sixteen years old and basically her child) while she and my uncle were away in Quebec, and she went missing one night. Since she's completely deaf, and unfamiliar with our house and woods, we were very worried. Eventually, though, someone found her and called the SPCA - since we'd told basically everyone in town, the vets knew she was ours and called us. PHEW.

Second OoB: Book Review Time! NON-SPOILERY, as always. Today I finished The Mission Song, by John Le Carre (who also wrote The Constant Gardener and The Spy Who Came In From The Cold). I LOVED IT, though the love came in stages.
STAGE 1: I see it in November in Ottawa, but like a poor student clutching her purse, I pass it by. NOT WORTH IT.
STAGE 2: I see it on-sale for $2 in Coles, and it has a zebra on the cover. I MUST HAVE IT.
STAGE 3: I begin reading it, and am turned off by the narrator, who sounds like he has zero emotion for everything in life. EHHHHH.
STAGE 4: *flail*

It was a HUGELY entertaining read, mostly because after I got over the stiltedness of the first chapter I fell in love with the narrator, who speaks very distantly of himself, while fully engrossed in the things around him. What I loved most about him ('him' being Salvo: half Irish missionary, half native Congolese, and collector of rare African languages) was his... oh gosh, I can barely describe it. He was both very aware of himself and his surroundings, but very naive. He explains everything with a care, creating a passionate and lovable narrator. I just... <3 <3 <3 Salvo.

And the plot was wonderful too - the typical starts-out-as-one-grand-thing-but-then-oops-not-what-you-thought-it-was-yikes involving a top secret conference about the upcoming elections in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. It's heartbreaking for all the reasons you might expect and many you wouldn't, but Le Carre has a very sensitive hand so it doesn't get melodramatic and preachy, you just get one character snapping "I mean, I do not want any fucker to die anywhere in the Congo for a very long time, except quietly and peacefully, of beer. You're sweating like a whore. Sit down."

Of course, there is the inevitable scramble and tumble-down, and I have probably never worried or ached more for characters, that they would be alright. Probably because this book is so achingly close to the truth on many levels: on high-level political plots, on racism (which Salvo, living in Britain, gets a lot of), on refugees and aristocracy. Again, with a few of the characters I was uncomfortable at first, feeling they came too close to caricatures or stereotypes, but as characters do, they developed and grew and were wonderful. It's rare to find a novel that blends both politics and, well, being a novel, but this one certainly did.

Book Review Numero Dos! The Grapes of Wrath, by John Steinbeck, which I read while in Kenya. I had never read it, but it was a classic and, I'll confess, I wanted to know what the Springsteen song ('The Ghost of Tom Joad') was actually about, so I took it with me. And WOW. Just... I loved Of Mice and Men, but this is a whole other level of gorgeous, gorgeous writing. It switches between Steinbeck's beautiful descriptive prose and a mainly dialogue story of the Joads, which is meant to form a panorama tale of all the farmers in the Depression who were forced to leave their farms after being bought out by the big guys with tractors and move to California. It was a heartbreaking tale that had its own little place in both history and literary history, and I loved it.

Not mostly because there's a little speech that basically sums up the Me to We philosophy that I just love to pieces:

( Exerpt below the jump )

I was amazed at how well the book fit the trip and what I was learning about, and all the echoes throughout it. For anyone who's turned off by the phonetical spelling-out of accents (and I warn you, the ones in this book are STRONG; I actually found myself adopting little bits of it quite by accident, and was mercilessly teased by Mariya, who thought that it was just my natural Hickness) or by lots of description (though frankly it's nowhere NEAR the levels of Tolkein) it's probably not for you, but I loved it.

Third OoB: Photobucket ate my layout :( I AM NOT BEST PLEASED.

Just got back from watching Transformers with Ratanadawong, because he was bored - it was okay, I guess, if you like that sort of movie, which I don't. I hadn't seen the first one, and was worried I would be confused.
COLLINE: Can you give me a plot summary or something? I just don't want to be left out.
RATANADAWONG: It's about robots fighting each other.
COLLINE: No, but I mean what happened? Was there intruige? A mission?
RATANADAWONG: There are robots, and they fight each other.
COLLINE (sadly): So there are no metaphors?
RATANADAWONG: I don't understand. It's just robots fighting each other. It's not that hard a concept to grasp.

The robots did indeed fight each other, and I was mainly preoccupied with Shia LeBoeuf (He Of The Many Vowels) and parts of it were very funny (though I have a feeling I am getting to be an Old Matron when I am offended by all the female characters serving the purpose of Boob Rack and nothing else... le sigh. Oh, action movies).

Speaking of technology being too smart for its own good, I put gas in the truck on my own for the very first time today. I'd only done it once before, so I phoned my mom to make sure I was doing it right. I just didn't want to spill gas everywhere or put in diesel or do some other Vehicle Noob thing. Of course, this plan didn't work so well when a little intercom over my head said "Mam'n, you're not supposed to be on your cell phone." THEY'RE WATCHING US, I SWEAR.

Chris found an interesting list:
You know you're an EWB'er when...
1. Fair trade is a major food group
2. Your best work is done after 2am
3. You get paranoid when you receive less than 30 emails in a day
4. Your idea of a study break is to do EWB stuff
5. On average, every seventh word is Change, every sixth word is Learn, every fifth word is Impact, and every fourth word is Awesome!
6 . You open a hotel room drawer at an EWB National Conference and wonder why they didn't supply the Orange Book
7 . Its perfectly normal to have a conversation about diarrhea with an OVS (overseas volunteer)
8 . You think Chapter Capacity Matrices are sexy
9 . You have nightmares you successfully achieved your desired impact, but couldn't measure it
10. Your wardrobe has a disproportionate amount of orange
11 . You know what day of the week it is by what meeting you are currently in
12. When you finish reading this, you question whether doing so positively impacted Dorothy.

And, because it's been a while since I've shared any KenyaTales*, I'm going to tackle a big one: Gender Inequality.

*For the new people: for 3 weeks in May I travelled to Kenya with an organisation called Free the Children to build a school. It was exhausting, exhilarating, amazing, and mind-blowing. I'm sharing my experiences and the things I learned and saw - a list of the posts I've done so far is here. This is my favourite one, and probably the most important.

I learned a lot about poverty while in Kenya, which was one of the main points of going on the trip, after all. I expected to learn that, I epected to see poverty and its effects - what I didn't expect to learn so much about (even though I was warned in advance) was gender inequality. I knew it existed in Kenya, I knew it was prevalent, but I didn't expect to be able to see it as vividly as I did, and I certainly didn't expect it to be as pervasive as it was.

( Gender Inequality and Soccer Games )

The reatreat was AMAZING. It was incredibly motivating and I learned TONS. I also had a conversation about Kenya with one of the CEOs of EWB, which was both incredibly awesome and incredibly intimidating (he asked a question I didn't know the answer to and thus I showed my arse, but I was too busy going '... you're my hero' to care at the time).

For those who don't know - I have an exec role with a chapter of the Canadian organisation Engineers Without Borders next year, as head of School Outreach. This means that I travel to all kinds of public and high schools in the Ottawa area to give presentations/workshops on different topics in International Development in an effort to raise awareness, education, and activism about poverty.

What is EWB? Before the retreat that question would have been hard to answer, because at the national conference this year we burned our mission statement after deciding it was crap, and since then we've been refining EWB's goals and vision and making them clearer to communicate, because it's complicated. At first glance most people (including my dad) think 'Oh! Engineers Without Borders = Doctors Without Borders + Engineers. You just send engineers overseas to build infrastructure in poor countries!'

No. That is what EWB USA does, and they do it VERY BADLY (argh, EWB USA. Such fail. I have details on why they fail, but, yeah. Not a very good ID organisation at all). EWB Canada, though, tries to do four things, and these are:

1: Increase Rural African Capacity - this is our overseas work, in which Junior Fellows and Long Term Volunteers work with NGOs at the field worker level (aka with farmers and people installing latrines) to understand the ID system, what's wrong with it, how it can be fixed, and different problems with it by asking questions. We don't give money, and we don't tell people how to do things. We listen and ask and learn and then try to better communication between field staff, NGOs, and donors so that the system works better and (hopefully) better work gets done.
2: Increase Communication and Connections Between Canadians and Africans - this is our in-Canada work, which is mainly done through Public Outreach and School Outreach: trying to educate and engage Canadians in poverty and ID work to result in a more caring, aware, active, and better decision-making population.
3: Advocate for Better Policy Towards Africa - this is our politics work, in which we try to engage politicians, governments, corporations, CIDA (Canadian International Development Agency, which does some good work but a lot of bad) and universities to adopt better policies towards ID, foreign aid, and policy so that our actions and finance with regards to Africa is used more effectively and in the right areas.
4: Link Engineers to the Global Community - this is the 'engineering' part of it, and obviously I know the least about. I think it involves making engineers, engineering students, and engineering firms more aware of their contributions, effects, and relationships with the global community and tries to find ways for them to use their careers for the betterment of society. More than just building bridges :)

So that is EWB in a nutshell. What I find EXTREMELY AWESOME about it is its structure and accountability. EWB is run horizontally - by which I mean that National Office doesn't tell us what to do. The university chapters ARE the organisation; we're running the show. We make the plans, design the vision, carry out the plans, and are the driving force behind the organisation. The co-CEOs and the National Office staff just chill out with us and are incredibly smart all the time (and when I say 'incredibly smart'? These people are AMAZING. I met so many inspiring, intellectual, motivating, and cool people this weekend... if by 'met' you mean 'clutched the sleeves of'). The CEO will just sit down at lunch and go 'So what do you think about EWB's new direction?' then then listen to you. So awesome <3

EWB in an even smaller nutshell? "I am more afraid today of unquestioned answers than of unanswered questions."

The retreat was mainly for all the chapters in Ontario to meet, reconnect, plan, and unify. It was especially important at this point in time with all the new direction happening. It was Year Planning time, so a lot of it was also to give us tools and planning time to do it properly.

( The best moments of retreat... naked preacher stories and The Bachelors of Friendship )

I'm just about to go off to the retreat, whose location is now 3 hours farther than I had originally thought, and which starts tonight instead of tomorrow - not only did I screw up there, but I also took up the internet yesterday, this morning, and today. So needless to say, I am not a The Popular Child with the parentals right now. Garrr, self. I hate it when I screw up like this, which happens remarkably often. At least I was able to register for my university courses this morning (after a brief flutter of panic when the database wasn't working and then when people came into the store and had questions).

I decided to treat myself by listening to the all-Bruce Springsteen iTunes radio station and by certainly-not-saying-my-lines when the store was empty :)

( My schedule for next year: classes abound! )
I don't particularly like most of the classes (18 million boring polisci courses, wtf is this), but I'll just have to man up, or sneakily attend history classes that I am not registered for.

Also, my reading list for the summer! I need recommendations for some lighter, more fun things (maybe some fantasy? idk) because it's pretty heavy right now.
1. Herodotus
2. The Book of Negroes - Lawrence Hill (US title: Someone Knows My Name)
3. The Mission Song - John LeCarre
4. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao - Junot Diaz
5. Stuffed and Starved (the Global Food System) - Raj Patel
6. The Flying Troutmans - Miriam Toews
7. Dreams From My Father - Barack Obama
8. The Bottom Billion - Paul Collier
9. When You Are Engulfed in Flames - David Sedaris
10. King Leopold's Ghost
11. Jennifer Government
12. In the Footsteps of Mr Kurtz

Suggestions most welcome, though I'm committed to the first five. I'll see you all on the flip side ;)

After working at the same place (an awesome, family-owned educational toy store) for over 3.5 years, I finally attended my first 'staff meeting,' which was basically just 'listen to my boss swear and eat lots of pizza.' AWESOME. I love my job, and my bosses (XD), and the people I work with, and tonight was a really great opportunity to see people who always work at the other stores and trade stories (including about people who PEE IN THE STORES, WTF HUMANITY, HOW WAS I NOT AWARE?). It was also really great because even though it's so much more than a job to me and I really try to do a good job at it, when you're in there every day (for three years) you sometimes forget it and it was a really good opportunity to give me the *~motivation~* to just kick more arse at it.

...Which I will get the opportunity to do because tomorrow I work in the G store and then have play practice, which means that I will be working my arse off for OVER TWELVE HOURS WITH NO BREAK :( Oh well, I'm excited for it, because tomorrow is Farmer's Market Day in G, I register for university courses tomorrow, and I get to rehearse my *~*BIG ROMANTIC SCENE*~* with Cooper (lolol oh dear god).

I have the Engineers Without Borders Ontario Retreat this weekend, and I am so unprepared for it it's not even funny :( I can't wait to see the whole team and come up with awesome ideas, but I really want to take as much away from this as I possibly can, and I don't think I'm ready to do that yet.

(Speaking of things I'm not ready to do, I had to deal with a racist customer today. Yeah. That was fun. If I start talking about it I'm going to get wayyyyy too maudlin.)

I have some links to share!
-So the women of Iran are amazing and fierce. This we have established. But it's also important to consider the role Iranian women are playing, especially in Western media, and how they are being portrayed/used/presented. Awesome post here, original post here.
-The best summary of Romeo and Juliet I've ever read: "This wasn't this big romantic ideal so much as it was two kids and their stupid families acting stupidly while fate kicks their asses for being so stupid."
-Why the Daily Show is awesome, and Pete Hoekstra is not so awesome, and why the internet makes the two put together even more awesome.
-If famous historical figures had had access to Twitter.
-New math. Deadline = it could be better + finding that out

Hello all ;) So, thanks to the ontd_p Iranian friending meme I have scads of new awesome people I know nothing about other than that they are awesome. Also they know nothing about me, and just wandering in here it might seem like all I ever talk about is Shakespeare Rap, which is of course patently untrue (guys, don't tell them it actually IS true).

Okay, so I just finished my first year at the University of Ottawa (quite a different experience for me, since I am from a woefully small WASPy town), which I positively LOVED. I'm studying International Studies and Modern Languages, which is like a blend of politics, history, economics, and international relations, with minors in French and Arabic. Arabic is such a neat language and I'm loving it. While at school I'm heavily involved in international development clubs like Engineers Without Borders (not what it sounds like) and Free the Children. Next year I'll be living downtown in a house with four friends. I mainly survive school by posting hilarious exerpts from my class readings, cooing over Christmas lights, and tea.

I'm from central/northern Ontario in Canada: I have two younger (both taller, le sigh) sisters, and a wonderful family that gets along awesomely. I'm back home for the summer, mainly to be eaten by mosquitoes, perform in a production of The Tempest, and work at a toy store. I spent the first month of my summer vacation, however, in Kenya with Free the Children building a school, travelling, and learning about international development, which is sort of my baby. I love learning and talking about poverty issues, developing countries, and many other world issues, and I'm very passionate about them. I loved Kenya, and I definitely have vague pipe-dreams of careers off in sectors of diplomacy, politicking, development, or NGOs (I also plan on taking over the World Bank and/or becomming Prime Minister on days in which I am frustrated). Whatever I do, though, I just want to be good enough at it that I will one day be interviewed by Jon Stewart.

I do lots of travelling, lots of reading, lots of playing Bruce Springsteen far too loud, and lots of hanging out at RBR. I am Terminally Single, and yes I am fine with that. (Mostly.) I like learning about stuff. Any stuff (different religions and ninja polar bears alike). Occasionally I write things, and I usually update fairly frequently. I have an obsession with tags.

Things I Am Useful For: I am a massive history/linguistics/politics/geography geek, and will gladly freak out with you over glossy tidbits of information any day of the week. Book recommendations (want something to read? XD). Toy recommendations (need a present for your little sister?). MINDLESS AND GRATUITOUS CAPSLOCKING. Comments in the form of gifs. Links to articles/pieces of writing/awesome things (for a given definition of 'awesome'). Inappropriate metaphors. Canadiana. Editing (I put on my robe and editing pants). Writing letters for fun.
Things I Am Useless At: Public transportation (seriously). Walking and chewing gum at the same time. Growing up (I don't wanna be legal! You can't maaaaaake me!). Remaining calm. Cooking. Being pessimistic. Maturity.

I can't promise I don't bite, but I can at least assure you I don't have rabies. Let me know if there's anything I should know about you ;) For your viewing pleasure:

Ffffffffffff, I am so busy... and yet not. I've barely been on the internet at all these past few days, and when I have been it's to stress out over picking courses for next year (I'm like THIS FAR AWAY from completely changing my major, I swear to you) and follow all the ridiculously awesome-and-yet-not ontd_p posts on the Iran Post-election craziness (seriously, you guys: if you aren't following this? FOLLOW IT). I've spent the past while reading through every single page there, washing all my green clothes, and then wearing them places. Slash sitting on the couch watching Indecision 04 because I have SO MUCH SPARE TIME but no internet to while it away with (I also just watched Shakespeare in Love, which is a movie I always loved and thought was awesome, and still SORT OF do but I'm only just realising how ridiculous it is oh Ben Affleck asdfinasdpfs).

Yesterday I went to see Up with jessica_june , and you guys: THIS MOVIE IS AWESOME. The cute! It is adorable and hilarious and awesome, but it's also so freaking sad. And not just at the obvious parts that are supposed to make you sad, but at the little bits because it's just... ah my heart just kept squeezing. Don't want to spoil it, but it's amazing and y'all should go see it because it will make your day. And then, AS SOON AS I GET HOME I get texts from people wanting to hang out, so I went to Jeremy's and watched a kajillion episodes of Kenny vs Spenny, which is a horrible show, but strangely fascinating to watch.

Today was the first play rehearsal, just for me and Prospero and Caliban - for the first hour though it was just me and Prop doing character stuff, going through our first scene, and blocking it out. And just... ROBIN IS TOO AMAZING, YOU GUYS. MY DIRECTOR IS SO BRILLIANT. You read the play, and the words are compelling, and you can see things in your head (<3 Shakespeare), but then she just takes it and makes it THAT MUCH MORE COOL AND COMPLICATED AND BRILLIANT. It was really, really, really hard. It was hard, what we had to do and how we had to do it, and even though Prop is basically the most awesome actor ever (uhm hello 'what-am-I-doing-here-with-him' moment) we both had to really work at it. IT WAS SO COOL. You could write a poem from my stage descriptions, that's just how beautifully she talks and sets it up. During one of Prop's speeches she was behind him while he was talking, saying 'See it there, see it, look out at the golden towers, watch them gleam, and build, build, BUILD. Good. Now watch it crumble.'

Of course then Ratanadawong showed up and blew us out of the water. He played Caliban on all fours, but when it was something emotional or important he would try to struggle upward, balancing on the balls of his feet but still hunched (which he said he got from watching Tarzan, because that's what Tarzan does when he wants to impress someone or it's an important moment, and I CANNOT BELIEVE HE MADE US WATCH 'TARZAN' FOR RESEARCH). It was so awesome <3 We have another rehearsal next week for just the three of us, and then one with just me and Cooper for Ferdinand. I'm so excited for it, even as I know how hard it's going to be.

Tomorrow I'm (hopefully) going to be doing a presentation on Kenya at a public school, though I've been trying to get in touch with this teacher for like two weeks and have no idea what's going on, but hopefully it'll work out. Then doctors appt, and then off to Orillia to see a movie with friends. There are things I really need to do and work on and catch up on (uhm, my flist? all the other Iran things I haven't been able to get to?) but hopefully I'll get to them soon. In the meantime, keep burning green fire <3

( Icon meme below )

MOAR MEME: *~If there is one person or more on your friends list who makes your world a better place just because they exist and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.~*

I worked in the G store today, which was awesome as I love the G store - it's so much cleaner and brighter and less cluttered, and has an actual nice bathroom and a really high chair to perch on. What I don't love about it is that the cd player is broken, and Bossman apparently broke the auxilary cord, so you're stuck with the local radio station. And the Moose SUCKS. A LOT. Also in suckage: me setting the alarm off by typing in the wrong code, and the alarm screaming at me and telling me it was calling the police. Oh, fun times.

Before I get into the KenyaTales section, I have some links to share!
-Christie Blatchford being amazing as always, talking about the Latest Scandal on Parliament Hill (which I realise is not that important or exciting, but she makes that point for me in an awesome and hilarious way). Best quotes: "I was ready to beg for mercy before 9 a.m., but by late afternoon, when I saw my Ottawa colleague Jane Taber, whom I adore and admire, in conversation with CTV's Sandie Rinaldo, both of them quivering with excitement, I wanted to slit my wrists" and "In fairness to me, I didn't know then that Ms. MacDonnell is whatever the opposite of a kleptomaniac is."
-An awesome article about Creative Writing programs at universities - whether they work or don't work, and their importance in the grand literary scheme of things.
-I know he's being mentioned all over the place (even in my sister's paparazzi magazines), but seeing Monsieur Stephano el-Colberti mentioned in the Globe Style Section (of all places - underneath Leah McLaren is sort of an odd and uncomfortable place to be, and I mean that in a purely non-sexual way) made my day.

And finally, because both razmatazkaz and hndrds_n_thsnds asked for a picture of my Alice in Wonderland dress, voila! Forgive my abnormally pale legs. Also to the latter: I am editing your piece and will have it back to you soon.

In KenyaTales: I thought I'd tackle one of the hard ones, finally. It's basically an exercise of Clyde Aster's observation that "when someone tells you something defies description, you can be pretty sure they're going to have a go at it anyway."

( Depressions vs Wonder: Impressions of the World, or How Did It Get Like This, and Am I Mad? )

Even though my presentation at the high school was disappointing (two people showed and I was kicked out of the library by the person who BOOKED me to do the presentation), the day has been full of people doing nice things for me :) Pater stopped by the store to give me a dinner of sushi (!!), and Jeremy, Seahorse and Ratanadawong came into the store to entertain me. I wore my cornflower-blue dress for the first time today and got so many compliments I don't know what to do with them all - it's such an adorable dress, very Alice-in-Wonderland-esque (with puffy sleeves and a blue ribbon!), so of course I am pleased with it.

It's time for another KenyaTales post! Speaking of happiness... so, every week at one of the Social Issues talks, one of the facilitators would ask each of us to share a highlight of the trip. Though there were many different ones, the overall best part of the trip was, for most of us, the kids. The kids were amazing. Just... there are no words.

( No words... well, except for these ones )

You guys, I am RIDICULOUSLY excited for this play - our first rehearsal was tonight, just a readthrough with the entire cast, and besides the inevitable losing-focus-and-ad-libbing-loudly-and-never-being-quiet that happens whenever you get theatre people together, it was FANTASTIC. *We* were fantastic. The casting is just so well-done and people obviously love their roles and have read the lines before. The first line Ratanadawong spoke as Caliban just had everyone looking at him, and AJ said "This is so worth it, you guys." Rat was AMAZING, his Caliban is somehow both crazy, freaky, scary, and hilarious, and he's having loads of fun with it. So is Erica (omg you guys, I never thought that I would love Gonzalo, of all people, but I do, I love her Gonzalo) and AJ, who is Stephano, and plays it like a drunk Bottom, which of course is hysterical. We were all in fits of laughing for the entire thing - his comedic timing is impeccable. I cannot WAIT to see the Stephano/Caliban/Trinculo scenes, I'm probably going to wet my pants.

And Prospero <3 Prop's voice is actually just the most beautiful thing I've ever heard, not a word of a lie. His VOICE, holy frig. He and Ariel already have such awesome chemistry, too - though when Robin handed out the Main Character scripts, he just looked at me in the perfect approximation of :O :O :O ... "____" and then wrote 'Prop's Holy Hell Script' on the front when I told him he had to memorise a third of it.

Robin has some fantastic ideas for the boat crash scene, and I'm just so glad to be working with her again. There's ANOTHER rap in this play, though when we read it out and could barely do it for giggling, she just said "Take it up with Shakespeare, not me. I didn't write it!" YOU GUYS, SHAKESPEARE WAS THE FIRST RAP ARTIST, THIS IS NOW CANON AND MY GLEE IS INSURMOUNTABLE.

Seriously, though: for our first time reading it all together, we were pretty freaking amazing, so it's only going to get better and more funny and brilliant as the summer goes on. I so cannot wait for this.

Other Things That Make Me Happy:
-Stephen playing Adrian as a fop with, I kid you not, my Blaise Zabini voice (Lal knows of what I speak) but ON CRACK. It's so brilliant I don't even know what to say.
-Caliban drunk. Just... omg. One of his lines just says "hysterical laughter," and Ratanadawong just did this crazie laugh that set us all off again. He also has lines that say "Bite him to death, I prithee" and "Thou liest, you jesting monkey, you!"
-Trinculo ad-libbed a line to say "There, they will not give a penny to someone homeless on the street, but will pay $8 to see Twilight." I have nothing to add to that.

... XD (!!!!)

PS Lal I don't get to play chess with Ferdinand, she changed it to tennis (though it might change again) because chess was too "static." Alas for lost Shakespeare in-jokes!

This is not a KenyaTales post, since I showed off all my pictures to family (+the Mginnions, which count as family anyway) last night, and there has been much shuka-wearing and elephant-squeeing of late. I also had a fantastic picnic reunion with my friends, since Jolly came back to visit and we all decided to get together and harass her and Jeremy for not being in the play. The picnic basically consisted of tiny water guns, goat cheese, baguettes, strawberries, shukas, and Ratanadawong needling everyone.
JOLLY: So I'm thinking the other half of my major is going to be Women and Gender Studies-
RATANADAWONG: Can you study for that in the kitchen?
JOLLY: ... You realise you are probably the only person in the world who can get away with that without being lectured and/or slapped?

Ah, I love my friends. Especially when the night finishes by watching Tarzan.

I went back to work on Saturday for a few hours, and have a few hours this afternoon, and then I don't work again until Friday. *sigh* Hey Canadian flisters: you know that whole eHealth debacle? Is eHealth still happening? Like, if I went into a doctor's office in town and said 'wanna pay me $10/hour to type up medical records,' would that work? Or do they even have a database for it yet?

Oh, Canadian politics. For those who don't know, we still have paper health records, which means if I broke my arm in BC they would have to phone my doctor's office here to find out whether I was allergic to any painkillers. So the government hired some lady to put it all in computers, and she proceeded to hire all her friends and pay herself over $141 000 in BONUSES ALONE without any of the actual work getting done. They just found out, so she gets fired (but gets to take TEN MONTHS' PAY with her), and we still don't have automated health records.

Also the GG ate a raw seal heart and offended many people. Apparently. My dad sides with her though, since he says raw seal meat is delicious, and the LAST GG also ate a raw seal heart. Oh, Canada. So reactionary. We have such weird problems, I swear. Also, apparently in the ENTIRE TIME I was gone, Frosty Mc-Prime Minister has done nothing but make attack ads against Iggy, which I have to watch five times a night when I watch TDS/TCR. I'm not that big of a fan of Iggy either, but seriously? SERIOUSLY? Whatever. I'm over it.

Know what else is over? I finished The Demon's Lexicon! Now on to The Book of Negroes and my $2 book about zebras. Also, I still need to decide which Africa icon to get.

First things first: I GOT THE PART!!!!!!!!! I GOT MIRANDA!! *So* excited. Robin phoned me to let me know - warning that it was dependent on Cooper, my Ferdinand, accepting the part as well - and I haven't stopped grinning since. A little disappointed not to be doing it with Lys, but if I'm honest my audition with Cooper was better, and it'll still be amazing. I also realise that it's sort of pathetic that I already have all the lines memorised, but I did for Midsummer as well, so... more time to work on the actual acting, I suppose.

I'm going to go out of order with the KenyaTales, because I don't think I'm quite ready to do #2 yet, that's the one I really need to get right and I need to let it stew around in the grey matter a little more (WHAT an appetizing mental image!). Instead, I present "Free the Children Best Practices, or Respect for the Community."

( YOU get a bright and shiny toy, and YOU get a bright and shiny toy, and YOU get a horrible charity! (How Not To Piss Off The Locals) )

Also I've decided I need another Africa icon. I wanted one with 'I BLESS THE RAINS DOWN IN AAAAFRICA' on it (I have the picture in my mind, I just need to figure out how to work photoshop), but in its absence I am choosing between these, and I need help!
1- 2- 3- 4- 5- 6- 7-

Over the past few days I've been keeping track of the story the Globe and Mail is doing on the Toronto Humane Society - an unusually low number of euthanised pets and a very high number of dead pets, a seemingly-tyrannical president, et cetty rah - and this morning I opened the paper to discover that Toronto police had searched the premises in response to four complaints of abuse, and that people have been coming forward with evidence and allegations. I'm still not sure about what exactly is transpiring, but I closed the newspaper and looked at the cover and said aloud to my mom "See? That's what the media should do." After months of swine flu hysteria, CNN's 'Pundit Smackdown' and hours of coverage devoted to Obama's mustard choices when there's so much going on every day (like, uhm, two wars? The Congo?), it was refreshing to see the media (albeit print media, which has always been my favourite and far more investigative and introspective than MSM) find a story, research it, go after it, expose it, and have action result from it. And all without touch screens or half of the paper devoted to it for three weeks on end. YAY MEDIA! My inner Jon Stewart squishes you.

Speaking of squishing, it's mosquito season again in Canada. I went for a run through the woods (part walking the dog, part fitness, and part to look for puffballs for Ann's science project) and GOOD GOD MAGNUM. I inhaled six, they were just EVERYWHERE (wanna know how I know I inhaled six? Because I spat them out one by one). My mother says she would sell this house for a dime in June, and I'm inclined to agree.
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The first of my Jambo Entries, or KenyaTales, or Adventures from the Hinterland: Colline goes to Salabwek or what-have-you: schoolbuilding!

( I never want to see a pickaxe again in my life )

I thought, before my brains explode, that I would make a Comprehensive List of all the things I want to talk about for Kenya. That way I won't leave anything out, I can plan them, and if there's something you want to know that isn't on the list you can ask about it.

oo: Felix the Adorable Maasai Warrior
o1: Schoolbuilding - life at the work site, or how I learned to stop worrying and love my badass arm muscles
o2: Gender Inequality (this is going to be a big one)
o3: Free the Children Best Practices, or Respect for the Community
o4: The kids <3 (also happiness)
o5: Depression vs Wonder - impressions of the world
o6: Poverty and Development
o7: Food - ours and theirs, how the drought is affecting food supplies, and food as it relates to education
o8: Expeditions: the Safari, the Athletic Competition, and Church
o9: Best Quotes from Kenya, or Awesome People I Have Met
1o: Travelling in Kenya - the landscape, the people, the surrounding communities
11: Fun Things: weapons training, lorry rides, soccer games, eskaris, Elaine and Benson's mad love affair
12: Education in Kenya
13: The Final Day: the Talent Show, the Kata Song, the Goat-Killing

Ahead: More Lists!

Recent Things I Have Googled:
-dik diks
-Maasai rock-throwing trick
-how fast can an elephant run
-giraffe spit
-giant prehistoric beavers (because Mariya told me they exist and I didn't believe her)
-Zoey 101+Disney? (a Scattergories rivalry gone way too far)
-Harvard+Darfur+China+Larry Summers (because I did not know that Larry Summers was that much of a massive dick)

Here are all the animals we saw on safari - I can put up any pictures you'd like
-ostrich
-cheetahs!
-vultures
-zebras
-wildebeest
-lions!
-water buffalo
-black rhino! (there are only 5 in the whole park, and only about 3500 left in the world, so this is extremely rare and awesome)
-jackals
-hippos
-gazelles
-warthogs
-antelope
-elephants!
-giraffes
-babboons

Things That Changed While I Was Away:
-Ann NOT ONLY got her G2, NOT ONLY got her scuba licence, but also attended what she calls "nerd camp" for Junior Engineers at Queens University and decided she wants to be an engineer instead of a surgeon.
-Yaden also got her scuba licence and is, as I suspected, now taller than I am.
-The weiner-shaped artist formerly known as The Puppy is now once again unbearably cute.

I had lunch with Loserface today, who is gorgeous and awesome as always, to prepare her for her own upcoming Kenya trip in July - she's going to the exact same community! I'm so happy for her, and she's so excited: I told her what to bring, what not to bring, but not too much about the trip, since she's going to have her own experiences. Since I stopped in at the high school to pick her up, I also saw Weenie and Mr O'T; I got to have a nice long chat about the Springsteen concert with the latter: he had FANTASTIC seats, and told me all about how fantastic Bruce is. He also talked about older concerts where Springsteen used to tell stories to lead up to songs, starting out cute and sweet, but working up to intense stories that fit with his songs, since they're so storical and narrative as well: he tells stories. O'T said its where he got a lot of inspiration from, and I can definitely tell, since his teaching style incorporates much the same thing - O'T said he wouldn't be as confident doing it or know about its effects if it hadn't been for Springsteen. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, SHE'S THE OOOONE! (sorry. Couldn't help it.)

A Smattering of Other Thoughts
-Tempest callbacks tonight! Aiee!
-My face is more tanned than I expected. I like it.
-I still love Jon Stewart
-... I miss Kenya <3 :(

The shower was indeed glorious (I can RUN MY FINGERS THROUGH MY HAIR, YOU GUYS. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW PLEASED I AM AT THIS), though I've been sick since Saturday and it's still not letting up. Seahorse and Jeremy came over last night and tried to make me stay up until 1 in the morning to watch the Bourne movies. I nearly died, but curled up on the couch with my cat and my Maasai shukah.

I got back late Sunday night, staying downstairs to tell stories to my waiting parents. I finally stumbled up the stairs with my backpacks (not quite as hard as it was before, since I now have some impressive guns, thanks to three weeks of weilding a pickaxe). My first thought when I entered my room was "...Wow. I have a lot of clothes." I stood there looking at the turquoise walls that looked closer together than I remembered, and running my hands over nice things. It's crazy how much pleasure you get from wearing a nice pair of socks after scrabbling in dirt for three weeks. If nothing else, this trip makes me all the more appreciative of showers and nice things - I'm almost afraid to touch them, and for the past day I've been treating everything here as near-sacred.

I could have stayed there, by the way. I didn't want to leave. If I could have had a few more t-shirts, my iPod, and the chance to phone home every once in a while, I could have stayed quite happily for the rest of the summer. Or... or my life. I loved it. I've always been a person who enjoys things, who enjoys having things, but I'm also a person who can quite easily and happily go without. I had one t-shirt for the entire three weeks, grubby toenails, and no movies or music or newspapers or flush toilets. But I had everything I needed. I've never felt so completely, wonderfully full.

The landscape was gorgeous - we went at the tail end of the rainy season, during their winter. There are two kinds of rain in Kenya: He-Rains and She-Rains. We only had two He-Rains (torrential downpour like you've never seen) - the mess tent flooded and everyone got frogs in their tents. We didn't mind when it rained, because everyone was so grateful for it (Kenya has been in a drought for 3 years), though it made travelling a hassle: the roads, already full of mud and ruts and bumps to begin with, were completely unnavigable after a rainfall. We travelled in a massive lorry, with a smaller Land Cruiser for people who couldn't handle all the bumps and jolts of the lorry. We got stuck on more than one occasion, though Magnus (our driver) was basically the most pro person I've ever met, and would steer through massive piles of mud while chatting away on his cell phone.

I've been wondering how to tell all the Kenya stories, and came to two conclusions: either I make a Kenya flist who is then subjected to all the stories/essays/tales, or I just make an LJ-cutted section on each of my entries for the next few weeks. I wanted to just C&P my journal entries for the past 3 weeks, but I think I'll just summarise. Any suggestions? Also, feel free to ask any questions you have about anything I say or don't say - if there's anything in particular you want to know about the trip, something you want to know more about, or something you don't get, just let me know and I'll either answer you or tell you I don't know the answer but where to get it :) My main reason for going on this trip was to share what I learned, so I'd love to tell you about anything you want to know.

Item the First, though: My New Husband.

His name is Felix.

( Meet Felix )

I'm off to mail more postcards, get my copy of The Demon's Lexicon (that's right: EARLY. This is why my best friend works in the bookstore. Booyah), and continue to apply salve to my aching inbox slash try to get over this sickness without taking massive quantities of Immodium. Much Love,
-Colline