If you want to find Cherry Tree Lane,

In which there is snow and apple dumplings

2009-12-10T17:57:40Z

I had apple dumplings for breakfast so I am just about the happiest person ever. OM NOM NOM. I also remembered that I didn't actually have dinner last night - after getting home late from giftwrapping it took me a few hours to make the dumplings and it just never happened - oops. Also oops is my Arabic exam. I don't want to talk about it. Other than to say that I thought the exam was in a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT location than where it was, so I spent fifteen minutes running all over campus in a white-out blizzard with no idea where to go and only just made it in time. Which kind of sucked, but it could have been worse.

SNOW HAS COME TO OTTAWA, though. It snowed a few days ago, and then yesterday was a massive dump over most of central Ontario, since my sisters got a snow day yesterday and another one today, and Ottawa got one yesterday as well. I walked to school and I could barely see or stand it was so windy. The buses had absolutely no idea what to do with themselves, it was kind of funny. Especially the long ones with what Catya dubbed as the 'bitchcrinkle' in the middle: the front section would try to pull up to the terminal, sort of struggling and chugging along, with the back end just going 'mlueaaaahhhhhhhhhh *flail*' and sort of sliding almost into other buses. Most people seemed to have their snow tires on already thought (usually when the first snow hits there's always about 1/5 of cars with no snow tires on just sort of floundering).

Giftwrapping yesterday was okay - still mind-numblingly dead, but I had a good discussion with Hart and Zila about gender issues and violence against women, and then another discussion with Hart about Remembrance Day being forgotten by younger generations. And I did the second shift with our JF, who I can't even dislike or resent because she's super nice and funny and smart, and we talked about education and children and all in all it was a decent day, although I feel like I basically accomplished nothing. ~oh well. On to more studying! ~~And trying not to eat more apple dumplings lest I make myself sick~~.

Tomorrow is the last school outreach presentations of this year, 3 in one day, aieeeee. Perhaps some more West Wing will serve as a decent study break (Mrs Landingham ohmygoodness <3 <3 ALSO CJ AS 'FLAMINGO' AND DANNY'S GOLDFISH AHAHAHAHAAAA).

This entry was brought to you by MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF SNOW. :DDDD

Several Different Languages

2009-12-09T04:22:10Z

First exam is tomorrow - Arabic. I'm feeling unprepared, mostly because my vocabulary is non-existent, but I'm not panicky about it. I had a giftwrapping session at the mall (EWB's big fundraiser this year) so I was there most of the day, but I could study a little because only two people came to the booth (one old guy bartered us down. Who barters charities? Really?). I have another session tomorrow, and had to scramble to find another person since one cancelled. In the beginning we knew that just our exec team couldn't fill all the shifts, and we recruited members, volunteers, friends, randoms... who are now ALL cancelling, right left and centre. So it ends up being our exec filling those shifts anyway - which we don't cancel, because we know there's no-one else to be there, but no-one else seems to think of. I'm fine, but I feel bad for Chris, because he organized this whole thing and is basically there for 4+ hours every single day and has like four more exams than the rest of us.

I LOVE THE WEST WING <3 <3 CHARLIEEEEEEE I LOVE YOUR FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE. *ahem* I'm such a fan of banter and emotion ~~and I also ship Charlie/Zoe~~ and I'm very much enjoying this show because of that.

I had the song stuck in my head today, so I went looking for the one short from Paris Je T'aime and fell in love with it all over again. It's so simple and kind of funny, and ends up being very very beautiful without trying too hard.

I've been playing a lot of piano recently, and looking for new songs - mostly because parties always seem to end up in my room and then everyone's drunk friends start playing songs I always wanted to learn and playing them 8 times better than I can, so I now have 'Don't Stop Believing' (oh be quiet), 'Winter' (Tori Amos), 'Romeo and Juliet' (Dire Straits/The Killers), 'Badlands' (Bruce Springsteen :DDD), and 'Mad World' (<333333333333 MAD WORLD). Most of what I know is not pop-culture, but more classical - not strictly classical all the time, but nothing most of my friends recognize (random Hungarian pieces [Two Guitars is SO MUCH FUN even if I've been playing it for like 8 years], Oscar Peterson [watching this makes me cry], Beethoven, hymns, Canadian celtica [aha this song is so crazypants I love it] Debussy [wins for most ridiculous song title ever], random other stuff) and I think it'll be fun to know how to play things that people know and love, not just that they might be vaguely impressed with ~~if I ever played them right, lol~~. I don't consider myself 'good' at piano, but I know it and I love it and I don't necessarily embarrass myself. And it's SUCH a major outlet, one I didn't have last year and that I needed really badly. YAY FOR AWESOME BIRTHDAY PRESENTS.

Alas though, I have been learning Comptine d'un autre ete: l'apres midi (Yann Tiersen <3) and it's going well, but I fear I will never play it as well as I did a few weekends ago. It was past midnight, during a party, and Kat and Chris and possibly someone else were in my room. Chris told me to play him a song, but I was drunk (hee) and there was no chair. I turned it on and crouched awkwardly on one leg so I could reach the pedal, and I played it. I wasn't sober, and my leg cramped, and I was hunched awkwardly and I hadn't warmed up, but I honestly don't think I've ever played that song better. I have yet to recreate it.

Also: what sucks about playing Christmas songs is that it's really only appropriate to play them for one month a year, and everyone expects you to know them, but when you haven't practiced them for 11 months how are they supposed to sound halfway decent? By the time you get good at them again it's time to put them away. BOO. Plus I have a gorgeous version of the First Noel (also Do You Hear What I Hear for being ridiculously fun to play).

I love playing piano :) I love working on a song, and I love not working on a song, just playing it once or twice through each time and leaving it for next time and getting better at it over months and months. I love going through phases - like the time when I tried to learn every ragtime song ever, or when I became obsessed with hymns; I had a wonderful piano teacher who asked me "what do you want to play?" and then brought me random things, the theme song to M*A*S*H and Pachelbel's Canon (still probably my favourite song in the world to play) side by side. I love working on tiny tiny things in songs that you'll never ever get to tell people or that they'll never notice (like how 'I Will Wait For You' is supposed to sound like a carousel, all tinkling almost-out-of-tune and pausing at the big notes before falling down again), and twisting things around ('Londonderry Air' as jazz-like? Yes please). It's fun and it can be as easy or as hard as I want or need it to be. I'm not as good as the people in the above clips are, but I have all my life to be when I just play for myself and anyone who happens to overhear on their way to the kitchen.

Josh Lyman will Deputy Chief your FACE

2009-12-07T23:48:12Z

ETA: NEW HALLOWEEK PHOTOS ARE UP ON FACEBOOK :DDD

I ACED TWO FINAL PAPERS WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :D :D :D

Well, okay. Not *aced*, but I did proportionally well considering the whole time-it-took-to-write-them thing, and I am pleased with the results. Not what I would LIKE, but good nonetheless. I went all-out Hollywood on my conclusion for Contested Places, and cited the quote as Romeo Dallaire, personal communication November 16 2008 and the TA wrote "WOW, REALLY!?!?" beside it, LOLOLOLOL FOREVEEEEEEEER XD

I have been augmenting the ~~non~~studying with episodes of the West Wing, since I've wanted to watch it basically since RBR started, and it was my mission last summer, and I finally have high-speed internet and a tiny amount of time to watch it. I REALLY REALLY LIKE IT. IDK, I don't like Martin Sheen's prez so far... his little speeches about Ancient Rome etc are interesting, but he's very preachy and ~above it all and oho-aren't-I-profound, idk. JOSH LYMAN <3 <3 <3 I really love CJ and Sam and Charlie as well, and it seems so very fast-paced, even though they talk a lot and things don't happen a lot - but I guess that's ~life in the White House. The dialogue is awesomesauce, and I've already almost-cried once, aha. I'm about four episodes into the first season since last night (because doing budgets sucks, and I needed a distraction).

My first exam is on Wednesday, and I'm very nervous, because while I know Arabic, my vocabulary isn't up to snuff and I'm relying mainly on feeling it out or knowing certain parts, not knowing the exact rules. Tomorrow is going to be Studay Extraordinaire Day (+ yoga + baking apple dumplings, om nom nom) with Marley.

YAY for loffly v-gifts of snowflakes!! Though, uhm, not like yesterday morning. When I decided to check ontd_ai and then was part of a group that sent novelized over 15000 snowflakes, lol. It was sort of epic. Her poor inbox :( Her profile is nice and snowflakey though!
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Had my last Contested Places class today - I love that class, I've learned so much (both information and knowledge) and the prof is amazing. The past few lectures, though, have been about Gender and Space, with case studies on women in public space in Afghanistan and a little about North American cities called Gender and Geographies of Fear. It was really really interesting, and delved a lot into theory, but was also a section that relied on class participation a lot.

And when there's open class participation in a discussion about gender, sexism, and/or Afghanistan? There's usually fail.

And fail there was. SERIOUSLY. As I was saying (mostly jokingly) to Catya, I have a new rule for second-year university classes about gender issues: MALES ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TALK, JFC. Or I guess they can, so the prof can slap them around a little and thus prove how stupid most of the questions are. Some guy in the back had to go and say that there are services available to help women in Afghanistan, but "~~studies have shown" that a lot of women don't use them, or won't, so they must *like* living like that, right?? And anyway it's all religion, because Saudi Arabia has things like that too!

>:( NO. SIT DOWN. MAYBE THEY DON'T GO TO THE POLICE BECAUSE THE POLICE WON'T BELIEVE THEM. MAYBE THEY DON'T REPORT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE BECAUSE THEY'LL GET BEATEN EVEN WORSE. MAYBE THEY DON'T GO TO SHELTERS BECAUSE MALES GET CUSTODY OF KIDS. But whatever it is, don't you ever DARE say it's because "they want to live like that." (Also fyi it's not religion, it's the male patriarchy in a culture where men's honour is tied to women's bodies so women are treated like a resource. IT'S. NOT. RELIGION.) A few other students countered well to that, and then the prof walked up to the guy (the prof is like 6 foot 2 and the student was sitting down) and said "if I was your husband, and I was slapping you around for everything you said, and you live with my parents and I, and I have the power to take away your children any time, and my brother's a police officer, what are you going to do? It's not about liking situations or being used to situations, it's about the limits you have in society to determine your own actions and future and the difference between legal equality and the facts on the ground."

And then while talking about North America and why males are more likely to report assault (or I think it was something about more males going into situations where assault was a possibility? idk), and some guy in front of me says that women are "more naturally fearful."

It was at this point that Carl had to tell me to "settle down, Tiger." >:( NO. MAYBE WOMEN MIGHT BE MORE *AFRAID* TO WALK AROUND ALONE AT NIGHT, BUT THAT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE THEY KEEP GETTING *RAPED*, NOW ISN'T IT? The prof answered that with a "well males are more likely to be idiots, yes," and then told us about how he got mugged in Washington for being an "idiot male. Trust me, no woman would have got mugged the way I got mugged!"

In the previous lecture, the prof asked us how we defined gender or gender roles in society. Of course, most people in the class misinterpreted the question as "tell me society's gender stereotypes." When we got to the sixth one for men, which was someone saying they provide for and protect a family, the prof said "look how we get to the sixth one and still no mention of being a father, of caring for children. Think we would have gotten past three for women without someone bringing up the caring of children?" The prof was amazing at countering people and facilitating discussion, but it was a discouraging class nonetheless for the way people refused to come up with their own thoughts on what defined gender.

And of course there was the class where someone asked if "racism ever existed in Canada." (Oh, honey. You need to leave the house once in a while.) Now, I'm just a wee baby feminist who's made some pretty bad fails of her own, but I think the problem here is that there's a lot of ugly stuff we carry around with us that isn't acknowledged, isn't talked about, and people don't know it's wrong, or they don't know why, or they have a sneaking suspicion it's wrong but won't ever air it out for fear that it will smell bad. Canadian society has this veneer we're proud of, this politeness and niceness and ~tolerance (and tolerance SUCKS. Since when is that our ultimate goal?) we like to be known for, and I think that comes with a lot of fear of offending people. Which is a good thing. No-one likes to be offended and no-one likes to offend other people. But the problem is that we get to thinking that open conversations about how racism and sexism hurts people hurts people even MORE, so we don't have those. It's not nice to talk about. It's not nice to say that it's there (but it's there). And our reaction to learning that it's there is to smile nervously, shrug and say that it's terrible, isn't it, but what can you do?

I'm generalizing here about my Canadian observations, but I really do think it's a problem, because if this class is the first time people are talking about institutionalized racism, or how *~*~MULTICULTURALISM!!~*~* doesn't always translate to the ground, then some pretty ugly things are going to come out of that discussion. Because people haven't been told they're wrong before, because they've never said it before, or never knew they thought it before. And then instead of worrying about offending people you actually do. Either that or everyone talks about how men are strong and Bring Home The Bacon, because they want to answer the question correctly for Teacher even if they know, they KNOW that's not what defines men, but they have some misguided notion that's how society tells them it defines men, and really what other alternative is there? What other alternative is there to having concrete notions of what we should tell women and men they are in charge of acheiving with their lives?

Well, there's the alternative of fluidity, that I can be me and you can be you and Shafiq can be Shafiq and Kathleen can be Kathleen and we can learn to live with each other and have the freedom to accomplish what we want to accomplish, and who we are as a person can be entirely based on our interactions with each other and our experiences of common humanity, on our own definitions of strength and weakness and honour and success.

But that would be difficult, wouldn't it.

... wouldn't it?

It's hard out there for a cheeks

2009-12-06T15:41:28Z

I loff my fambly. I phoned home yesterday and talked to my mom and Yaden, and for some reason I just got overly nostalgic and spent like 15 minutes with Yaden talking about how much we missed our kitty, so then I got all sadface. Since she got a camera for her birthday, and because I've been missing home like crazy this semester, I asked her to take a whole bunch of pictures and send them to me: new clothes she bought, what they had for dinner last night, the lake as it's freezing over (because there's snow at home. There's snow in ALABAMA, but none in Ottawa, to which I say WTF M), et cetty rah. And I wake up this morning to an email from mia madre saying she's going to email me a different picture every day. The one from last night was of the two sisters + maman at the dinner table, all smiling except for Ann, who is holding a sign saying 'I like corn on the cob.' This is from a birthday card I sent my dad, with a man and two girls on the cover, all holding signs that say happy birthday, except for the youngest girl, whose sign says 'I like corn on the cob.' On the inside, it says 'Please disregard Stephanie.'

Needless to say, I loff my family. Also what they were eating looks a lot healthier than what I've been eating, lol. After a whole semester of it, I'm starting to get lazy (plus it was Nic's birthday on Friday and Portia's birthday yesterday, so there is more cake in the house than is wholly necessary, I feel) and just eating cereal, or eggs, or whatever else. I had a salad yesterday but it was unimpressive - but then Val and I played Europeans and dipped baguette in olive oil+balsamic and it was DELICIOUS :D :D It was Sinterklaas day a few days ago and someone in Val's class handed out little boxes of these chocolate sprinkles and chocolate shavings (called Ruijter, I think), and because Val is Dutch she was nearly too excited for words.

I found Cheeks' youtube (no, I'm not a stalker) and OMG LOL. I LOVE THIS MAN. SO HARD. 7 Things to Hate About Me and It's Hard Out There For A Cheeks made me laugh so hard and I have no idea why ~~maybe it was the camera zooming out from the gold pants? lol~~ He's quite the actor, hilarious. YAY for mindless diversions?

I've been picking out my courses for next semester (because as of right now, I have Written French, Pronounciation, Canadian Foreign Policy, and Intro to Modern Political Thought I, which can I just say HALE NAW): so far I have it down to Arabic, Literature since 1700 (survey course), Sixteenth-Century Literature, and then a choice for two of the following (tell me which ones I should choooooooose): Children's Literature, African Politics, Indigenous Politics and Governance in Canada, Medieval Literature (aka Chaucer), America in the Colonial Era, Victorian Literature, or the Economics of Developing Countries. HOW IS NEXT SEMESTER GOING TO BE BASICALLY EVERYTHING I LOVE IN THE WORLD!?

I'm also excited for next semester because one of the girls in my Arabic class (who I met last year because she was wearing a Me to We t-shirt) is starting something called Ballerina Dreams for girls 4-8 with mental or physical disabilites and I'm going to be volunteering a lot with them, so YAY! :DDD I've also decided I'm going to go WOOFing (organic farming) next summer in Canada, the US, or Mexico, so DOUBLE YAY! Farming + travelling + sustainability + volunteering + almost-free = ALSO EVERYTHING I LOVE IN THE WORLD. I just need an Adam Lambert concert and I will be SET FOR LIFE, Y/N?

To Do Today:
-go for a run (if Ottawa's not going to cooperate by being cold I may as well try to work off all that birthday cake)
-actually study Arabic (did not get accomplished yesterday) for Wednesday's exam
-send EWB emails: to the teacher to get the times for Friday's presentations, and to everyone else (Jason, Mama Hen) to get volunteers
-drop off Mama Hen's agenda back on campus, go to the Royal Oak to see if they found my gloves
-congratulate Jeremy on his conquests (due to a text I received at 2:13 am)
-buy nutella, bread, and ORANGE JUICE (I've been out for three days, and I've had a wicked headache for two of those. COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT)

because this is what I do in the wee hours of birthday parties

2009-12-05T06:41:44Z

On the twelfth day of Christmas, mcollinknight sent to me...

Twelve thunderstorms travelling

Eleven traditions writing

Ten fountains a-daydreaming

Nine audiobooks acting

Eight vegetables a-shopping

Seven bouviers a-volunteering

Six pomegranates a-laughing

Five bla-a-a-ack cats

Four washing dishes

Three fighting aids

Two russian epics

...and a church in an anderpony.

In 2009, mcollinknight resolves to...

Give up black cats.
Apply for a new narnia.
Buy new pandas.
Give some snow days to charity.
Overcome my secret fear of international relations.
Go to the washing dishes every month.

oh my god who has glow sticks?!

2009-12-04T09:17:19Z

Ladies and Gentlemen, straight from the House of Distraction, your mom proudly presents:

Lessons I Have Learned - Year 2.1 Edition

Someone somewhere is always making nachos
Boys and girls have different hygiene regimes
Just because a roommate brings 3 different instruments with them doesn't mean they know how to play any of them
Before taking a shower, always check for giant centipedes first
Nutella is always the solution. Even if you don't have a problem
Other people pronounce the names of spices and pastries very oddly
Other people think I pronounce the names of spices and pastries very oddly
Always take hugs when they are offered
Offer hugs always
Roomie love does not extend to such circumstances as: covering anyone's ass for more than one missed lecture, watching South Park in the kitchen, or making the bus driver wait for "just 10 seconds, I can see her!"
Everyone ever is a fan of Tina Fey and the Red Hot Chili Peppers
Not everyone considers vegetables a necessity, or has the same idea about what constitutes a vegetable
Having a house and a cupboard full of cleaning supplies means you will always be the ones throwing the parties
If you don't turn the lights off after you leave a room, you WILL be ridiculed/snubbed/shot
Falling down stairs happens often, but falling upstairs is an art
How not to freak out when a fuse blows for the third time in as many hours
You can take the kids to Ottawa, but you can't take the Toronto Maple Leafs fan out of anything
Baking supplies are collective; Cinnamon Toast Crunch is not
No-one says no to Taylor Swift concerts
Thursday is Shower Day
How inappropriately awkward most girl conversations become when there is a boy there
The five-second rule does not apply to student housing kitchen floors
The pizza place across the road still sells poutine at 2:30 am
"Would you like some tea?" means "come waste three hours of your life in the kitchen with me"
Your mom/that's what she said jokes are never not funny
Candlelit dinners are *TOO* for 19-year olds
Never inform roommates of crushes or dates unless you want a tactical battle plan (complete with lookout points, engagement strategies, code words, and two squadrons of reinforcements)
It's never that big of a deal
Margarita glasses make everything classier
All-nighters are more fun and more productive with a partner
How much better everyone else is at taking notes than I am
TYLER ATTWOOD!
Other people always look better in your clothes
It is entirely possible to make one 3-course meal out of one 10-lb bag of potatoes
Food sovereignty, indigenous rights, immigration and monkey porn are all legitimate dinnertime conversations
Don't stop believing - hold on to that feeeee~eeeling
Furniture may come and go, but independence is forever
Always time your grocery runs to coincide with family visits
Cohabiting with five other people is not only possible, but awesome, fun, and wonderful if those five people are all some of the most intelligent, world-changing, funny, and supportive superheroes you've ever met

*A Single Ladies (+Nic) Production

Towers

2009-12-01T20:46:58Z

I don't know if anyone's heard about Switzerland banning minarets, but really? REALLY, SWITZERLAND? Way to fail completely. On the list of Ways To Combat Extremism, 'alienate Muslims' is probably not high up there - I also doubt 'quibble about architecture,' 'target important symbols of unity,' or 'basically publicly show the world your xenophobia' would be found anywhere on that list. JFC, Europe.
------------

I was thinking about this recently, and wanted to get a few people's opinions: idk about where you are, but the phrase "no homo" seems to be EVERYWHERE here, and I don't think I like it. At all. Several reasons:
A) What's wrong with dudes saying nice things about other dudes? I normally hear it used after "oh yeah he has a great body, no homo," etc. - the whole North American (because believe me, the one area Europe seems to win at is having teenage males be affectionate or at least TOUCH each other without flipping their collective shit and having crises of *~manhood~*) culture of guys not being able to give each other compliments, especially on physical attractiveness? Is BS. So say someone's awesome/good-looking/wouldn't-kick-him-outta-bed-for-eating-crackers and MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. Compliments. Are. Allowed.
B) It seems to imply homophobia - like, "~~~God forbid anyone think I was making a pass at him, I must make it ABSOLUTELY CLEAR that I would never not in a million years oh yuck. Must dissassociate self from any tiny indication of The Homo-ness! EXORCISE MEEEE! *thumps chest*" Like implying that homosexual is not something you would ever want to be.
C) It's juvenile and stupid.**

I take a lot of things too seriously or overthink them, but I'm really, REALLY not cool with this one in particular, and if any of my friends uses it they gonna get smacked upside the head. On the flip side, I've heard a few similar things said about the whole 'That's what she said' phenomenon, but I don't really have any problem with that (mostly because I love puns, and because 'that's what HE said' is used far more often in my house, lol. I can see the merits behind what's said, but I don't personally have a problem with it).

Granted, it's probably more crucial to secure basic rights for people before going after random turns of speech, but such is the Western Way, I suppose (see also: feminism/sexism). I'm definitely guilty of this too, though - boycotting Bacardi when most women don't even have basic rights - but little things like this irk me, because I think they point to the bigger problems in their own little ways.

**FULL DISCLOSURE: I like a lot of juvenile and stupid things :P
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</rants>
Back to reading fic, lol. Such is my liiiiiiife.

P.S. This song is gorgeous. *downloads piano sheet music*

One Million Legs

2009-12-01T01:40:35Z

So I discovered last night that there are giant centipedes in our house. To be more precise, in our downstairs shower. How did I discover this? I took a shower with a giant centipede. As soon as I saw it I sort of shrieked and immediately left the shower and called Catya in. Normally I wear The Pants in this house and so am in charge of all insect-killing and bug-getting - I've killed mini centipede-like-things in our kitchen several times while Marley freaked out. But the thing surprised me while I was both naked and showering, which makes you feel sort of vulnerable. Also I was wearing a towel. So Catya took care of it, while all three of us (Val ahd been lured downstairs by our hysterics) yelled and squealed and tried to get rid of it. We trapped it in a cup and threw it out the back door - it was too big to squish without making a gross sound, and we would have flushed it down the toilet but Val said they survive in moist environments, so... yeah. CENTIPEDES. IN MY HOUSE. WHILE I SHOWER.

NOT. COOL.
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It was snowing lightly when I woke up, and thus I was made as happy as a four-year old with a puppy. It didn't last more than 10 minutes, and it's supposed to be nothing but rain this week until "freezing precipitation" on Friday (funtimes), but I can't wait for it to start snowing. I love Christmas, and I love the lead-up to it, and listening to Christmas songs and the like, but I don't feel like I can do it until there's some legitimate snow swirling around, even if lights are starting to go up.

I made Pearl's delicious stew for dinner, but mine is not as good as hers. I blame my lack of turmeric. I came home to Catya and Val having a candelit dinner - literally, there were tiny candles all over the kitchen and they had garlic bread. I love my roommates <3 And Marley's dad surprised her and came to Ottawa! Like, he just showed up at our door with baked goods, and toilet paper, and shelving units and decorations, and carted Marley off to Costco. Life is pretty good!

It's the last week of classes before exams, which is sort of hard to believe. Some classes I'll be glad to say goodbye to - INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS, I'M LOOKING AT YOUUUU - but most of my others I've really enjoyed. Today my Political Thought prof gave sort of a speech about Machiavelli and the importance of political thought and the modern political system. I sort of... wrote it down verbatim.

"I lived in Toronto for 12 years, and the Ottawa police scare the shit out of me! Every time some drunk guy falls down in the Market, eight cars show up out of nowhere. And there are isolated cases of police brutality, but really the entire policing system is built on the idea of brutality, of violence. States use violence as a political means all the time. And not just overt violence, but structural violence and systematic mistreatment - what we do to our native populations and what happened before and during Hurricane Katrina. the way things are built and constructed.

"This has been here all along, but it took until the 1500s until someone finally looked at it and said it outloud, that this is what we do, this is what we use, this violence. But we want to systematically deny its existence. People are inclined to forget about it; it doesn't lead them to revise their thoughts on the community they live in. Canadians have a reputation for being polite, and we like to think we're all nice, but most of us are here because of acts of violence against the native people who were here first. It's human nature to harbour these ideas and ideals instead of acknowledging ugly truths.

"Machiavelli's way, or what he tells is is our way, is a less moral, but more accurate way. If we aren't upfront about violence - and all its little violences, its deceptions - we can't know how all these departures from our virtues and values affect our politics and our communities."

He then went on to make fun of Iggy for a while, which made me happy. Oh, Iggy. He has - or had, I should say - the POTENTIAL to be our life-saving politician, but... just no. Lol. Oh, Iggy. *sigh*

I love texting Kaz about our favourite QueenBitchFest fics - hooray for free international texting! :D Have fun in Copenhagen, you! (Ugh I want to travel so baaad.)

This is a Catching-Up-With-Colline Post

2009-11-29T16:20:19Z

rii_namuras IS MY HERO, Y'ALL. THANK YOU SO MUCH, BB! (Awwww yeaaaaa for UNICEF DONATIONS <3)

YAY. YOU MAKE ADAM HAPPY :DDDD
----------
Second OoB: the SO presentations went fairly well - at least mine did. Basically anything that could go logistically or technologically wrong with the French one did so: the room was locked, so we started setting up about 30 seconds before all the kids came in, the projector wouldn't work, and there was no screen. I felt horrible, because I couldn't stay to try and fix it (what use I'd have been I have no idea) or be with them, as I had to catch my bus to my own presentation. It was nobody's fault, but I still feel really bad - at least the presentors were awesome and gave me good feedback, I'm sure they handled it awesomely.

Third OoB: no more DGDs this semester! I went to my last discussion groups this week and thankfully there were no more outbursts from Crazy Man in the IR one, and we ended up talking about realism and Risk in my politics one (IDEK) - I managed to recruit someone for the SO team from my politics one, which was cool. It's... I want so badly to like discussion groups, to learn from them, to actually participate in them. But I never find that I can: there's too many people so it just disintegrates into everyone's opinion of how much it sucks they had to read the article, or there's never anything I think I can contribute (or if I have something to say, I feel I'm going to be eaten alive for saying it). Global Gossip (EWB's weekly discussion group) is SO MUCH BETTER, it saves my life.

Fourth OoB: I had a gift-wrapping shift yesterday: EWB's main fundraiser this year is gift-wrapping at a big mall in Ottawa. Since it's still November, the people wanting gifts wrap is dismally small - nonexistent, even. Flipping through the volunteer log revealed several comments people had left about previous shifts:
-"It's quiet... too quiet"
-"Our evening in Venn: (in one circle: people at the mall) (in another circle: people wishing to use our services)"
-"The dulcet tones of the Salvation Army man's bell provided a monotonous backdrop to the dreariness that was this shift. Alas! for the lack of people wanting their purchases artfully enclosed."

Fifth OoB: I hung out with Pearl last night - I miss her, she's so perky and awesome and brilliant. We made her mom's stew (and DAY-UM, her mom has good recipes), had a delicious dinner, and then watched 500 Days of Summer and a random episode of Bored to Death. I didn't know quite what to make of the first one: I loved the style, and it was beautiful to watch, but I feel like it was just that: something to watch. I didn't find the end very believeable, as much as I appreciated it for being un-cliched. I still don't know how I feel about it, but it was enjoyable? I think. Aha. And BTD is SO WEIRD. Very clever dialogue, but very bizarre.

Because I enjoyed the stew so much, I present to you
recipes! **They'll all be in metric and fahrenheit, sadly. Americans can use this handly conversion calculator if desired.

First Up: Jessica-June's Cupcakes
*These are not your mother's cake mix cupcakes. They're denser, tastier, and WAY more flavourful <3
-3/4 cup softened butter
-3/4 cup sugar
-2 eggs
-3/4 cup flour
-2 tbsp milk
-1 tsp baking powder
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Beat butter and sugar together. Add everything else and mix. Put in a cupcake pan either in the little cupcake holders or just grease the pan. Cook for 10-12 min.
Cream Cheese Icing
*It's useful to add food colouring, since my roommates told me it otherwise looks "like someone jizzed on a cupcake" :(
-300 g (1 block) of cream cheese
-juice of 1 lemon and optional grated rind (or just squeeze lemon juice in there, not too much)
-4 tbsp icing sugar
I usually just eyeball the amounts and then add ingredients based on if it's too thick/too watery/not lemony enough

Pearl's Mom's Stew
*Pearl's family is Chinese, but they're in Canada via Peru, so I have heard many tales of Pearl's mom's cooking :) This one is good for using whatever random leftover vegetables you have left in your fridge
Thaw chicken legs in water. Stab with fork all over and then marinate 1 hour in: 1 tsp salt, 2 tbsp balsamic vinegar, 1 tsp sugar, a pinch of pepper, and herbs (oregano)
Chop garlic and onion and sautee in pot, add tomatoes. Add chicken and sauce (the stuff you marinated it in).
Add 1/2 tsp curry or turmeric (we added a lot more of both and it still turned out delicious), add 4/5 potatoes, chopped, and at least 1 cup of water.
Wait 40 minutes, stirring often
Add other vegetables: peppers, zucchini, mushrooms, carrots; and herbs (1/2 tsp salt, basil, oregano, cumin, and something else I forget. Thyme maybe?).
Serve with rice

Broccoli Rice
*Can be a meal on its own or you can put stuff on it, like stir frys or the aforementioned stew
Boil rice, then add 1 can cheesy broccoli soup and 1 head of broccoli

Scottish Scone
-1 tbsp vinegar in 1 cup milk (to sour it; set it aside and add it in last)
-2 cups flour
-3 tbsp sugar
-1/2 tsp baking soda
-1/3 cup margarine
-1/2 cup blueberries/raisins (optional)
Mix ingredients, adding soured milk last. Then knead in a bowl, adding flour as needed. When dough is neither sticky nor crumbly, place on greased cookie sheet 1/2-1 inch thick. Can sprinkle top with sugar and/or cinnamon, or brush with egg yolk (*NOTE: I usually brush or drop milk on and then sprinkle sugar, or else press it in, otherwise it just falls off)
Bake at 450 degrees for 12-15 min

Colline's Dad's Spanish Rice
*Useful once again for using random leftover vegetables
Put rice on to boil while you make this. Put in a large frying pan/wok:
-1/4 cup oil and about 1/2 an onion, choppped
-Vegetables! Best ones are peppers (green and red) and carrots, also mushrooms
-pepper
-1 tbsp garlic
-heaping tsp salt
-1/4 tsp pepper
-1/2 tsp basil
-1/2 tsp cumin
Put on 2/3 heat and simmer slowly. Sir lots but keep lid on to keep the moisture in (add more olive oil if it gets too dry), When the vegetables are soft, drain and rines a can of kidney beans and mix tat in. When rice is done, rinse and drain it, and then mix it in and simmer.

Egg McNeil (another one of Colline's Daddy's)
Fry an egg in a pan while you toast an English muffin with cheese on it (cheddar is best, but marble and mozza work well too). Compile together with lettuce, tomato, and HONEY MUSTARD. Consume with delight.

Pancakes! (Also - Vegan Pancakes!)
*Vegan pancakes taste the same, they're just a different texture
-1.5 cups flour
-1 egg
-1 tbsp baking powder
-1 tbsp sugar
-1/2 tsp salt
-1.5 cups milk
-2 tbsp oil/melted butter (*I prefer melted butter)
-Can add 1/2 cup blueberries if desired, but don't stir them into the batter, it's better just to drop them on top of the pancakes as you cook them
Mix dry and wet ingredients SEPARATELY, then add them (add the melted butter to the wet ingredients last and stir quickly or else it will just clump in the cold milk). Stir together until there are no clumps, but not too much or else it will just get liquidy. Fry on a griddle or pan (you know it's time to flip when the bubbles on top burst immediately instead of filling with batter).
Vegan Pancakes
-2 cups flour
-3 tbsp sugar
-3 tbsp baking powder
-1 tsp salt
-3 tbsp oil
-2 cups soymilk

Bruschetta
*Trust me, if you're a university student and you can make delicious bruschetta, you can impress ANYONE
-Spread goat's cheese on a baguette, and mix tomatoes, red onions, balsamic vinegar, s&p, olive oil, and basil together. Spread that on top of the cheese+baguette, and either eat cold or put it in the oven or toaster oven for a little bit. PERFECTION, OMFGGGG.

Colline's Dad's Spaghetti Sauce
In a frying pan on medium, put chopped up tomatoes, chunks of feta cheese, chopped up bacon or ham, and some thyme, rosemary, and basil (+s&p). Stir and simmer. SOOOO GOOOOOOOD.

The Best Salad Ever
-lettuce (NOT ICEBERG, FOOLS: romaine works, also spinach or the kind that is mixed greens and looks like weeds)
-chopped peppers (esp red is tasty), cucumbers, carrots, celery
-crumble feta into it, add nuts and seeds (even mandarin oranges)
Salad Dressing: mix half-and-half olive oil and balsamic vinegar, add a drop of honey or maple syrup and rosemary, shake and add to salad.

Others:
-Pork chops + 1 can of mushroom soup + an oven = perfection
-Havarti cheese makes any sandwich better, especially grilled cheese

Sixth OoB: it's ~music time! Songs I have been obsessed with this week are:
Whataya Want From Me - Adam Lambert (that's the live Early Show one because he did an awesome job on it and because it is ~meaningful. The album version is gorgey though)
Kids - MGMT
River - Lights (I have a scene from a tv show set to this song all set up in my head for the day when I become a Director, lol)
Music Again - Adam Lambert (it sounds to me like a theme song from a 90s tv show or something, lol; this is the live Early Show version, because I can't believe he hit those high notes the second time around, and because it is once again ~meaningful)
Innocence - Airborne Toxic Event (starts off slow, ends up screaming)
Two Faces - Bruce Springsteen
Wavin' Flag - K'naan (part of my soundtrack to Kenya)
Quiet - Lights (Lights <3)
*These are all links, but if you want me to upload them I will gladly do so!

Sometimes a question and sometimes a gratitude

2009-11-26T00:57:24Z

I didn't get the JF position.

...which for some reason I figured was going to happen. I'm disappointed, but not too badly, since I wasn't sure if I would have even accepted it in the extremely unlikely event I got it. I'm sure the disappointment will catch up with me if only because I spent so much time thinking about it and turning it over in my head and thinking about what it would be like. I'll get interview feedback and then I'll learn a bunch more and apply next year and bust my ass off to get it then and I'll be the best damn JF ever - for now I just don't know enough and I'm not confident enough and it's a good thing. My dad emailed me all the way from Whitehorse (to tell me it's okay to stamp my foot and be a jealous bitch if I feel the need, ahaaaa Daddy), and I got a lovely email from Mama Hen about it (and she asked permission to invite the girl who got it to the next exec meeting. lol, like I would throw a stapler at her head or something?), and it was an honour to even have been selected for an interview, so I'm good. I'll be good :)

I have another SO presentation tomorrow, as well as a French-language one that I have two other people doing. I'm more nervous about that one, since I won't be there or even be available because I'll be doing my own. It's the first time I've booked a presentation knowing for sure other people would be doing it without me there - obvs I am a control freak, but this program is my baby and I really hope they hit it out of the park. I'm sure they will, because the presentor is awesome, I'm just worried about logistics and technology and hoping it all goes okay. Fingers crossed!

P.S. I don't think the heat in my house works, or else we have even worse insulation than I thought. This house is an ice fishing hut. I AM WEARING THREE SWEATERS AND HAVE HAD TWO POTS OF TEA IN THE LAST 45 MINUTES AND IT'S NOT EVEN DECEMBER YET.

Quotes of the Day:
CONTESTED PLACES PROFESSOR: So I've talked about racism and ethnicity and war and Israel so far... just to make sure I piss EVERYBODY in this class off at least once, today we're going to talk about religion.

"Ah, be cheerful, sir.
Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits, and
Are melted into air, into thin air.
And like the baseless fabric of this vision:
The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself -
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve.
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on; and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep."
-Prospero, The Tempest, Act IV

mecteol asked me five questions!

1) What's the story behind deciding to live in Belgium for a while? Have you lived abroad anywhere else? Is there anywhere you'd like to live outside of Canada in the future?
It was for a foreign exchange for part of my Grade 11 year. I knew I wanted to go on an exchange: initially I had chosen Italy and was super-excited and teaching myself Italian, but all the Italians they had wanted boys as partners, so :( I had a partner from France come to stay with me, but it didn't work out (loooooooooooong story there), so I was rematched to a girl in Belgium and went to live with her and her family. It was a wonderful experience and I learned a lot - there's a lot of things I would change about it, but I'm glad to have done it. I haven't officially "lived" anywhere else, though I've done a lot of travelling. I would LOVE to live abroad, and I actually plan on it. Canada's awesome, but I'm going to live lots of places before I live here. I'm a city person, so I'd love to live in NYC, Washington, or Chicago: there are several European cities I love as well, but mainly I'm drawn to Africa. I plan to work there - I'm not sure where yet, but I know I love it and it would be so different. I also like Australia (especially Perth, Sydney, and Fremantle) though I have no idea what I would ever do there, haha.

2) When you were younger, what did you want to be when you grew up? How has that changed to what it is you want now (if it has at all)? I really wanted to be a zookeeper when I was younger: not so much a vetrinarian, I just really wanted to hang out with monkeys. I don't necessarily agree with zoos, but I think it's possible to have zoos that are a lot better for animals and more natural. Zookeeper and animal conservationist were high up on my list before I knew the actual name for them. I also wanted to be an author.
I'm still very invested in animal conservation and endangered species: I guess my focus has just shifted to people? I think that's because there's less science required, and the ways to learn about and solve issues like poverty and hunger and loss of territory for people are more suited to my learning and thinking and doing styles. As to the author thing, I realized a while ago that A) I am not self-motivated enough to be able to write for a living, B) the things I like writing aren't the things that make the best books, and C) I'm not good enough. That doesn't mean I'll never be or that I'm no good, but there are always going to be awesomely amazing writers a million times better and I'm far more comfortable reading what they write and being in awe of it. I also realized that I'm a better editor than I am a writer.

3) What are your thoughts on religion and spirituality? (You mentioned in another getting-to-know-you meme that you believe in God; basically, I'm curious as to what you mean by that.)
I do believe in God, though the limits of that belief are still sketchy to me. I'm not much for religion: it interests me, and I understand and respect it, it's just not something that I feel drawn to personally as a means of connection or expression. When I went to church (half of high school) I went for the people.
God and spirituality isn't something that crosses my mind on a regular basis, and I don't actually believe in a God as in a being who controls our lives: I guess it could be vaguely summed up as me feeling a deep and definite something towards the world and the universe. Sometimes it's more of a question, and most of the times it's more of a feeling of gratitude. I don't really have a way of explaining it, and it's not something I think about or question on a regular basis, but I think there's something just a little bigger than us because this whole thing is just too much just for us, awesome as we are.

4) Similar to #2: Is there anything you were interested in before that you're no longer interested in now?
Not really. There are things I don't spend as much (or any) time on, but I still like them. The one that comes to mind is probably horseback riding, which I did from about age 7 to 16. I even had my own horse at one point: I love horses, and I miss it, but it's too much of a time/money investment, and to me it would be unfair to the horse to only be halfway involved. It makes me sad that it's not as much of a crucial part of my life as I once thought it was.
There are a lot of other things I'm interested in or like doing that I just don't do as much anymore, but I can't think of anything I've just completely stopped being interested in.

5) What is one thing that everyone else seems to be bothered by but you're not? (Or alternatively, what is one thing that annoys you but doesn't seem to annoy anyone else?)
It might not seem like it, since LJ is where I come to complain, but I'm not bothered by a lot of things to the extent that some people are. I don't get bent out of shape easily by things, especially little things. I notice it most when I travel: if a car breaks down or a restaurant's full or our flight's delayed or something goes wrong, I'm more like to go "Oh well!" while the people I'm with usually get pissed off or fume about it or get it fixed. I'm more likely to shrug and find something else to do or another way to do something. Oh, and other people think it's weird to not shower every day or every other day, wheras I don't and just think that as long as your body gets used to it and you don't smell bad, there's no reason to. I understand if you think that's weird, though.
I absolutely must have a clean kitchen area, or at least the sink. Stuff doesn't go in the sink and I'm crazy at wiping down kitchen surfaces. And people not keeping in touch annoys me: I understand it, but I don't like it.

Sure Fire Winners

2009-11-24T02:29:04Z

I had my JF interview tonight!! I was so nervous for it - I left Arabic half an hour into the class because I realized that because of bus traffic I would only have 10 minutes at home and I had to print my resume and references and application ~~and straighten my hair~~... once I got home, all the lights in the bottom two floors of the house went out, so I had to use Val's printer on the top floor - it was a day of close calls! I put on my nice red plaid dress and caught an early bus over in the fog (seriously, the weather forecast for Ottawa is "freezing fog," I can barely see a few feet in front of me. I'm hoping this means we get some legit snow up in hurr) to go over possible questions for an hour before it started.

I think it went pretty well - I wasn't as coherent as I would have liked (nervous babbling much?), but I wasn't incoherent, and I got to talk a lot about Kenya (at one point one of the interviewers, a past JF, was nodding and making 'oh I KNOW' faces, so I figure that went well), and I felt confident - and I NEVER feel confident in interviews (or, uhm, most of the time?) so hopefully it went well! We'll see. :D
--------------
I am *LOVING* my geography course, Contested Places. It's so fascinating - it's not so much about world issues as it is about the idea of 'place' and why people get so upset when you mess with it and all the ways it's influenced by other things. We spent most of the beginning of the course doing theory, but it was still interesting theory, and we're now into the case studies (the US/Mexico border, territoriality in Israel/Palestine, ethnicity in Afghanistan, racism in American cities and New Orleans/Hurricane Katrina, and next week is religion in Canada), which are an interesting mix of theory and things that are relevant. It's so, so interesting, and not only that but it makes a lot more things easy to understand - maybe easy isn't the word, but it's been incredibly useful in learning that conflicts are more than one group of people not 'getting along' with another, or both wanting the same piece of land. It's complex, it's unseen, and this course has been amazing for it. (Also today we got to watch 'When the Levees Broke,' and I was reminded of this gripping picture.) The final assignment was also interesting, because it wasn't about regurgitating anything, it was something completely different than what we'd done in class, but we really had to use the materials, it was really cool (even if I hated doing it, but that's just because I'm lazy).
---------------
Death Essay #2 is now finished! Only one more final project to do (and the worst, ugh) - the essay was okay to write, though it wasn't that interesting.
COLLINE: The purpose of politics?
BURDZ: The purpose of politics is to make me miserable... take that, Aristotle... take that

I celebrated the completion of this essay by buying For Your Entertainment from HMV today (I know, I know, a CD. I'm a traitor to my generation). I'm just listening to it as I type this, and I think I'm going to have to have a dance party tomorrow before I make up my mind - I definitely hear the QUEEN in there, though.
HMV MAN: Oh hey! Adam Lambert! Have you heard of-
COLLINE: The whole 'Out' magazine thing? Yeah.
HMV MAN: Sounds like his handlers are trying to put the genie back in the bottle, so to speak.
COLLINE: Dude, did you watch the AMAs last night?*
HMV MAN: Uhm, no?
COLLINE: Trust me, that one's not going back in ANYWHERE anytime soon.**
--------------
I was distracted from the essay by the advent of MysteryGoogle - which is more fun than it has a right to be, considering how creepy it is. Basically you just c&p the statement into the search box until it gives you a "mission" (a phone number and something to do). My roommates and I called someone in Kentucky and sang them some Mulan, it was amazing. Someone else wanted a bedtime story, so I texted them one about a swan princess who moves to Bel Air. You can also put your own mission in: Catya got someone to send her 'Bohemian Rhapsody' lyrics. It's a complete and utter waste of time, and some of them are creepy (you want me to send you a picture of my feet? Sorry, not gonna happen), but it's kind of fun, too!

*Full disclosure: I didn't either (ha), I just saw the gifs afterwards.
**Adam made out with one of his dancers, Tommy. In front of several million people. It was kind of amazing, lol (AND I *SO* CALLED IT, TOO. I SAID THERE WOULD BE A MAN ON A LEASH AND THAT ADAM WOULD PROBABLY MAKE OUT A DUDE, AND LO AND BEHOLD, IT HAPPENED).

Insensitivity Training

2009-11-19T22:05:32Z

Last night was Laughter Without Borders, an awesome improv comedy show at the campus bar that EWB had organised - it went GREAT, there were so many people and it was hilarious! Everyone had such a good time, I'm so happy and proud we pulled it off. Also, I love the troupe, they're so delightfully nerdy and smart - and such great facial expressions, lol. Once I stop having essays due on Mondays, I'm definitely going to go to their Sunday night shows :)

This morning I sat up and went "...oOOoh, that doesn't feel right." I had gone to bed with a sore back, and woke up unable to move my neck. I shuffled around the kitchen trying to fix it, seeing how far I could bend it, turning my head this way and that, but I guess I pulled a muscle? Or something more than that, since I literally cannot move my neck. I thought it was getting slightly better throughout the day, but I guess carrying giant tupperware bins on the bus and doing school outreach presentations isn't really conducive to that sort of thing, since I can't even look up and down now, and I could this morning. Like, I'm just moving my eyes. It wouldn't be so bad if it was stuck straight, but I have to keep my head tilted to the right, so I look like a complete lunatic, whereas this morning it just looked like I was doing the Robot.

The presentation was Energy Matters, which I've never presented by myself before, and which I've only seen once. I consequently had to do a lot of studying and prep work, since it's about Energy and Electricity and yeah, like I know how solar energy is actually made. I just know it has something to do with shiny screens. Thankfully I know most of the development aspects of the presentations, though: the activity is a little weird for EM, I'd really love to fix it. It was made crazier today because I presented alone, but the kids are still awesome.

KID 1: Hey, we have $800 left! Let's buy two candles!
KID 2: But we don't need two candles. We don't even really need ONE candle.
KID 1: But we *can*! We have $800! EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS.
KID 2: You're going to make a great government official someday.

THIS IS WHY KIDS ARE AMAZING, LOL. I enjoy kids, I find them awesome, but I've never really connected them or known what to do with them. I still don't, but I still think they're awesome. And DAY-UM, these kids are smart. Even though one of the kids made the observation that during the activity "it was actually more fun to be a poor country because you had more things to do," I was able to work it around to point out that if you have to spend all day watering fields and fetching water, you don't have time to go to school, but also to go skateboarding or hang out with friends or have hobbies. Which in Canada, we do because we have free time: so it was neat to get them thinking about that too, because it's an angle I wasn't expecting to come up.

I have bought groceries (this time I even remembered to bring my wallet! Oh, self...) and had great conversations with Jeremy, my Mom, and Gomez in Ghana. Jeremy has H1N1 - I've known a few people so far who've had it and been okay, but a professor at our university died yesterday :( and he was 38 and perfectly healthy - so I had to yell at him about not pulling all-nighters.
JEREMY: OKAY. I PROMISE. No more all-nighters until I'm better.
COLLINE: OKAY. And that means Real Better, too, not just I-can-stand-up-without-falling-over-better. Now go drink two litres of gatorade.

My Mom had plenty of stories, from my Dad getting to meet Gordon Lightfoot on his birthday (basically my Dad's biggest hero, especially cool since my Dad had bought his first Gordy album on his 12th birthday) to the farewell present my dad's coworkers gave him: a beautifully carved cherry paddle, with a tiny Diavik diamond set in it (which I'm thinking they all pooled for, lol. One of my dad's biggest projects over the years was the Diavik Diamond Mine in the Northwest Territories; he was doing environmental and first nations affairs with it, but Diavik and Ekati and other NWT diamond mines have been pretty instrumental as alternatives to blood diamonds and the Kimberly Process, which authenticates diamonds that don't come from conflict sources, which is pretty cool).

Guess I should write another final essay, huh? At least this one's about Plato and doesn't require me to live on the NYT and Guardian websites.

in the night, I hear them talk, the coldest story ever told

2009-11-17T21:34:37Z

MARC KIELBURGER IS ON THE COLBERT REPORT TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not as the guest, I think, since colbertnation shows someone else, but perhaps as a mini-segment? THIS IS SO AWESOME, IT'S ALMOST AS GOOD AS WHEN NEIL GAIMAN WAS ON. But I am sort of dismayed - which one will I marry? (For those who don't know, Marc is the older brother of Craig Kielburger, who founded Free the Children. He is spectacularly awesome, and very inspiring. I've met him, and he's also a complete sweetheart.)

COLLINE'S FBOOK STATUS: Marc Kielburger on Colbert Report tonight!!
FRIENDS: YAY SO WATCHING :DDD
COLLINE: IT IS EVERYTHING I LOVE IN THE WORLD. MINUS PUPPIES.
EVAN: AND THAT LAMBERT GUY
COLLINE: OMG EVAN THAT WAS ONE TIME*
-----------------
Listening to Kris Allen's new album - I CAN'T BELIEVE HE LEGIT PUT 'HEARTLESS' ON IT ~~even if he was apparently really unhappy with how this version turned out and didn't want to~~ ~~put it on~~. So far I love it: I'm finding a few of the songs sound the same to me, but am very pleasantly surprised so far. LLWD FTW :DDD
-----------------
IR was so horrible today - I cannot WAIT to do teacher evaluations for this one, because today I was reminded of everything I detest about this prof. He seems like a pleasant individual, and I like it when he's all sarcastic and feminist and shuts up stupid people, but since that's been like probably a cumulative half hour so far over the course of the semester, the rest of it is NO. Ugh, so annoying and confusing. I didn't learn a single thing today (other than that Samuel Huntington angers me, which I already knew).

Twenty Years Ago [November 1989]
Age? Was not born yet, skipping rest of section.

Ten years ago [November 1999]
Age? 9
Were you in school? Yes, in public school (which is what Canadians call elementary school)
Where did you work? I didna.
Where did you live? Muskoka, northernish Ontario
What were your regular haunts? My grade 4 classroom, the barn, my cottage, Mginnion's house
Did you wear glasses? No
Who was your best friend? It was the year before my BF came to my school, so I don't remember. Jess Haber, maybe?
How many tattoos did you have? 0
How many piercings did you have? None, my parents made us wait until we were 13 to get our ears pierced.
What did you drive? I rode the bus. I "drove" a horse though?
What was your biggest goal? Have fun, eat lunch, be a ballerina, love my sisters, and enjoy life. Pretty simple.

Five Years Ago [November 2004]
Age? 14
Were you in school? Yes, Grade 9 in high school.
Where did you work? I didn't.
Where did you live? Still Muskoka.
What were your regular haunts? The barn, the school library, the Bean
Who were your best friends? Seahorse
How many tattoos did you have? None
How many piercings did you have? Ears
What did you drive? Still nothing, lol.
What was your biggest goal? To be a zookeeper, to make and keep awesome friends, and to never leave Mr OT's english class ever

One Year Ago [November 2008]
Age? 18
Were you in school? First year of university!
Where did you work? The toy store
Where did you live? Ottawa :D
What were your regular haunts? The caf, the basement of Marion, the third floor of LeBlanc residence
What was your favorite song? 'Will it go round in circles?' by Billy Preston
Who were your best friends? My friends from home plus Pearl, Burdz, Catya, Marley, and Coyote
What was your prized possession? My sanity.
What did you drive? My mom's Toyota Highlander when I was at home.
What were you looking forward to? EWB conference, and Christmas
What was your biggest goal? Learning all I could so I could kick ass in the world

As of today [November 2009]
Age? 19
Are you in school? Yes
Where do you work? The toy store when I'm at home
Where do you live? OTTAWA
What are your regular haunts? Home, the EWB office... I don't really go many place :(
Do you wear glasses? No
Who is your best friend? Same, plus Val and Mariyya
Do you talk to your old friends? Yes! Not as often as I'd like, but we definitely keep in touch (and they send me their essays to edit)
How many tattoos do you have? None
How many piercings do you have? The same two
What do you drive? The highlander, plus my sister's Jetta and my dad's red toyota thing when I'm at home.
What was (IS) your biggest goal? Learning even more and becoming a whirlwind :D

*I made the mistake of showing the Details shoot to Burdz during the potluck (which I have issues with, but the article was amazing, and I am totally serious) but it is sort of hard to look at unobtrusively, and thus all my friends were looking at the pictures and through the magazine and 'OMG COLLINE IS THIS A GAY MEN'S MAGAZINE,' to which I replied 'IF IT WAS THEN HE WOULD BE MAKING OUT WITH A DUDE,' and they were like 'TRUTH' but they found some sketchy ads in it to back up their claim, and now all of my friends ~~think~~ know about my love for Adam Lambert and think I buy porn magazines and will not shut up about it, especially Evan. It's kind of hilarious, actually.

Cyprus is the new Hollywood

2009-11-17T02:59:00Z

HIGHLIGHT OF MY WEEK THUS FAR: "Paying taxes is like going to the zoo - admission's $20. You can't go 'here's $18.50. I don't like zebras.'" -Jon Stewart

First OoB: Final Essay Count: 1 down, 2 to go. 15 PAGES OF MY LIIIIIIIIIIIFE, haha. Which I suppose is not that much, but it was the years and years of research that really bit me on this one. I'm not used to writing late-night papers or having to pull all-nighters: that's not me, that's not how I operate. I do things last-minute, but that normally means a few days before. And now it's like BAM, THIS THING IS DUE IN SEVEN HOURS AND I'M ON PAGE FOUR WHAT. Which is my fault: forgetting the past few weeks, I didn't leave the house on Saturday or Sunday, and still most of it was left. I had 18 tabs open and was doing it half-assedly. Which I don't want to do anymore - though it's going to be even harder not to do, since I've discovered that I can. And not only am I capable of doing it, but I can also do it and get a 90% (in IR, a class I don't even like). Though I still am wondering where that came from, lol, because I thought that paper was HORRIBLE. Guess I got an easy TA to mark it? I already know one of the TAs for Contested Places is hardcore because of the midterm (:/), so I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

At one point, as I was editing the conclusion, it just wasn't what it needed to be and I couldn't figure out how to get it there (I SUCK at conclusions), so I just went all-out Hollywood on it. Like, full stops. I quoted Romeo Dallaire, you guys. That's how desperate I was. Guess this is where the Sekrit English Major tries to sneak in - my Apology paper was all "ONE MAN. ALONE. AGAINST A WORLD DETERMINED TO CONDEMN HIM. TRYING TO SAVE A CITY HE LOVED FROM ITSELF. ~~~FLY FREE, SOCRATES. FLY FREEEEEEEE~~defyinggravityftw~~" before Burdz fixed it.

Second OoB: I really wanted to volunteer for the 'InsideOut' LGBT film festival this weekend, but I don't think it's going to happen :( I'm not sure if I'll even be able to go see a film: another essay due on Monday, and Karlee is visiting me this weekend. SAD PANDA. There are quite a few things I wanted to volunteer for this year that I either didn't get a chance for or time to do, and some that I probably could have done if I'd just sucked it up and got organized and gave up on ~~kradam fic, lulz~~ all the other random stuff I do.

Third OoB: Had another enjoyable Political Thought class today - the prof is so bizarre and SUCH a dork, I love it.
(talking about Greeks under Roman rule) "There's a hole where my citizenship used to be!"
(reading us quotes) "This one's always a little long to read aloud... oh well. I *am* getting paid."
"Belonging to a group and having an identity has an impact on human life. Rarely do you meet someone on the street and they say 'I feel fine, I'm a part of the human race.'"
(talking about eschatology in Christianity, or the belief that history will end at some point, the second coming of Christ, etc): "It's like living in a place you're going to leave in six months. You're going to stick up some newspaper so people don't see you naked, but you may or may not actually hang drapes."
(immediately afterwards): "That's one of the more hilarious things I've said, that's awesome."
"I was thrown off by your applause. Do that all the time and I'll be criminally confused."
"Every once in a while you do something up here and right afterwards you're like 'what? what was that?'"

(during class)
BURDZ: My mom's been texting me, she used 'LOL' again...
COLLINE: Midlife crisis?

(these were notes I found scrawled in the margin - to myself or to Burdz - and I have only a dim recollection of what spurred them)
"lol public masturbation"
"This isn't your mom's philosophy!"
"'Platonic Love' = bromance'
"I'm glad we talk silently"
"Why doesn't he use a thermos?" "That is a thermos, I think it just doesn't work very well"

And Marcus Aurelius threw in his oar as well:
"If our intellectual part is common, then reason also, in respect of which we are rational beinds, is common: if this is so, common also is the reason which commands us what to do, and what not to do; if this is so, there is a common law also; if this is so, we are fellow-citizens; if this is so, we are members of some political community; if this is so, the world is in a manner a state. For of what other common political community will any one say that the whole human race are members?"

But my favourite is still the Romeo Dallaire one, part of which I used in my essay, that I remembered from going to see him last year:
"We have to be prepared to make a committment and go in for a while. We've been in Cyprus for 40 years, and now they're sitting down and talking and maybe in 20 years they won't need us anymore. And if they can progress forward in serenity, then hasn't it been worth it? What's 60 years in the life of a nation? [...] These things take time. Time and effort invested in these missions and nations and processes are necessary in our collective evolution towards a time when I hope we will no longer have conflict due to the friction of our differences." <333

Dichotomous Key

2009-11-15T18:09:55Z

Though what I really need to do is break my writer's block on my essay (12-page monolith for Contested Places/Geography class about media coverage and representation of ethnicity, territoriality, and significance of place in the Cyprus border conflict; it's actually a really interesting paper and should be easy, I just need to actually write it), I am going to do today's writer's block question: if you could have any extraordinary talent, what would it be?

I would love to say charisma, negotiation powers, leading a country, or inspiration, but if I'm being truthful about it, singing. To have a crazy-impressive voice that could do whatever I wanted it to do. I can sing - I have sung, I've been in musicals, and I have no trouble singing the right notes or following a tune or not sounding like a pair of asthmatic bagpipes. But there's a difference between being able to sing the notes and making them sing themselves. In Ensemble C'est Tout, the main character loved opera because she said her father told her the greatest instrument in the world was what humans could do with their own powers and own voice. So yeah. I would love to be able to do that: not to be an artist or to impress people or necessarily do anything with it (well, okay. I wouldn't say no to doing musicals), but just to have it to do whatever I wanted to do with it. That would be cool.

Examples (okay, so there are lots of people with lots of beautiful voices, I've just been listening to these two a lot, so that's why):
Feeling Good - Adam Lambert (this whole song, but in particular the last minute. Just... what I wouldn't give to be able to do that).
One - Adam Lambert (it's a beautiful song, and to be able to do it justice is <333)
The Valley - k.d. lang
Ready - Kelly Clarkson
Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson (I have been on the BIGGEST KC kick ever lately. Which is weird, as it is normally NOT my type of music)
-------------------
It was my dad's birthday yesterday, so I phoned home. I knew what my mom's present had been for a few weeks, so it was neat to hear how excited he was to go to the Gordon Lightfoot concert (he bought his first album when he was 12, is fan number uno, et cetty rah)... and then afterwards to get the pictures of him meeting Gordy, shaking hands, talking, getting a cd signed, and giving Gordy one of his own cds - my mom's present after contacting the producers.

Jeremy sent me a message the other day saying "YOUR DAD IS AWESOME," and I am inclined to agree, especially since he just gave Jeremy a professional design job to do a logo for him. Jeremy's ridiculously excited to do it and thrilled, and my dad's all excited too. There's a lot of new excitement going on, what with deciding new career moves - my mom said it's nice to hear "Oh boy," and "what about this," and general optimism about what to do next. I got a copy of the farewell email my dad sent out to all his collegues and contacts, which included a line from Mary Poppins, which next to Sound of Music is probably my dad's favourite movie in the world. Lollllll only him.

I feel kind of like I'm missing it though, missing all this excitement of him deciding what to do next: it's not that I don't know, because I get updates every time I phone home, but I don't get the dinner-table discussions, the thoughts as they happen. Being outside the family nucleus doesn't seem to be entirely geographic anymore.

It's not just the new employment antics I'm missing, either. I talk to my sisters once a week and get the sound-bite updates of their lives, which is mainly school. But I don't see what they're wearing, I don't know whose houses they're hanging out at, and I don't get to tease them or be teased by them at dinner. I don't like relationships based entirely on keeping in touch and bringing each other up to speed, and what's said on the phone, or what they remember as significant while they're on the phone is not the most important thing. I don't get to be around my family every day to see the things they're going through or go through those things with them. I'm adding commentary.

And that's probably a part of it, the growing up and getting my own life, and I wouldn't give this up to sit around in Muskoka and go to Nipissing or whatever, nuh-uh. No way. I've got my own little nucleus here, and I knew that I wouldn't get to see my family as often, but this isn't a vacation I get to come back from at the end, it's a sort of forever, because I'm my own person now, I'm on my own track that doesn't include living at home for a significant, extended period of time. I know I'm always welcome, I'm not gone, it's still my home and they're still my family, but I feel like I'm mourning my episode of creation within that nucleus.

Of course it's not that simple, and of course I need this: the point of life is to make my own, but I'm still a little bit of a baby girl who wants back in that circle for more than Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter.

Food for Thought

2009-11-12T21:49:19Z

Reasons I love my house:
#1
I arrived home last night to find Catya, Nic, and Marley sitting around the kitchen table. "Hey," they said, barely looking up. All of them were peeling potatoes. A lot of potatoes. AN ENTIRE 10-LB BAG OF POTATOES. Between the four of us, we turned this bag of potatoes into a 3-course meal: mashed potatoes, hashbrowns (with onions and green peppers), and baked potatoes. Apparently it was prompted by a friend's horror story about having a funny smell, opening a bag of potatoes, and finding exploded green mushiness (or something) everywhere, and since we're all psychotic and paranoid, we decided that even though we only bought it in September, the whole bag of potatoes had to be eaten -OR ELSE. (It was so epic <3 I love my roommates and our crazy ideas.)

#2
For her sociology class Val has to observe someone like she's never seen them before, so she's going to watch me do dishes sometime (I'm so nervous, lol). We were going to do it this afternoon, but got sidetracked and made peanut butter cookies instead. It reminded us of the time we made chocolate muffins, and found a system of scooping that had her with a spoon, me with a fork. It ended in cutlery sex, needless to say. With muffin-mix lube.
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I had another school outreach presentation today - this time it was Food for Thought (about world food systems, food aid to developing countries, subsistence farming, reasons behind hunger, etc) to a class of Grade 9s, and I had a volunteer (who was AWESOME, omg I love him. He was - thankfully - in civil engineering [he wants to be a structural engineer and build sustainable and enviro-friendly buildings, yeaaa] so he covered those questions, and was really comfortable with the class and into it. On the way back we just talked about how much monkeys are like humans, and Thailand, and his older brother who's in Music Comp).

The presentation went well - it was kind of awkward because I had to stand mostly in front of the screen in order to access my laptop, and I'm not as comfortable with F4T as I am with Water for the World yet, but I think it went well. It was a bright group - they needed some coaxing, and had a low knowledge base on the stuff (but I always forget that most people don't) but were really engaged and struck by the information. At the end, when I was talking about ways they could help, clubs, etc., I asked if they'd ever heard any of this before, and got a No. I asked if they thought their friends had, or if their siblings or parents knew this stuff, and got another No, and a couple of the kids - you can pick them out, the "cool" ones who are way more intelligent than they like to appear to their classmates - seemed very "Wow, that's kind of crazy, I had no idea..." about it. Which is really interesting, because I have two more presentations with this same class, so I'll be able to build on that, give them even more information, and it'll be neat to see if that builds into a "I had no idea, that's not fair, let's fix this" thing.

I love doing this :)
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So everyone on my flist seems to ADORE this (as do I... SO WEIRD... AND YET SO AMAZING), and I found it a few days ago ~~via Adam Lambert's twitter, lulz~~ and since Catya is OBSESSED with Lady GaGa, we did nothing but freak out and dance for like 3 hours. She's not my favourite, but I enjoy her music generally, and this is pretty cool :PP

That mark our place; and in the sky the larks, still bravely singing, fly

2009-11-12T01:38:09Z

I have determined that I will never be able to be Prime Minister because I will never be able to hold it together during a Remembrance Day ceremony - even before 2007 I was still very affected, but ever since then it's been more intense. My housemate Nic says that sometimes people admire compassion in a leader, which I agree with in the case of a lone tear and strong jaw, but with me there would be snot involved, so there goes that.

In all seriousness, though: I couldn't go to the university service because I had class, but there was an even larger one at the War Memorial just off campus. I had class at 11:30 that I couldn't skip, but Burdz and I decided to go anyway. Stephen Harper was there, Michaelle Jean came, and then Prince Charles and Camilla (wearing a funny hat, because I suppose that is what the British do on solemn occasions) showed up - people actually clapped for them. Not sure whether that's because no-one really wanted to clap for Stephen or whether it's because we see him all the time but these are New People, or because we only realized by the third shiny car that we should be clapping? Not sure, but I saw the royals today, so I guess that's neat.

It was a beautiful day - sunny and clear and only chilly, not cold. The crowd stood close around each other, a few small children on shoulders. We sang O Canada together, something I rarely get to do but love doing, everyone at a different speed and pitch and volume, most quietly murmering, but singing it nonetheless. And then Taps started and I was GONE. Throughout the two minutes of silence, the end of Taps, the flyby, the 12-gun salute, and the cannon firing, I couldn't do anything but cry silently and think of it: of Darryl, of his friends, of my grandfather, of my grandfather's friends, of all the people my age and younger having the biggest responsabilities in the world. And I don't have those, don't have to, and I don't think I'm big enough to fathom what that means, what it means to give that. To go through that. Or to be someone who grows up with war, around war, with firing guns and blood and uncertainty. I don't know at all, and likely I won't ever, and I flinched every time a cannon or gun went off, and I'm not sure if I'll ever have the words to describe why it is that Remembrance Day hits me so hard but it does. I can't help but be overwhelmingly thankful, though and in and amongst all the thankfulness there's a feeling of loss, too.

And I felt ashamed last year, felt ashamed this year too, because it feels a little like I don't have a claim to that feeling - I haven't lost what Jolene, what Darryl, what so many others lose. But I love them and thank them too, I guess. They helped me too: isn't that the point, that so many people gave this to people they wouldn't ever know? When they started laying the wreaths Burdz and I had to start leaving (which made me feel horrible), walking through the crowd with small "excuse me"s and "sorry"s and "thank you"s with me looking an aboslute wreck, still shuddering every time they fired the cannon. And - this is true -

A soldier in the crowd stopped me, put his hand on my arm and told me to wait while I snuffled and blinked at him, sun too bright, and he pulled a kleenex out of his backpack and gave it to me, and the lady beside him said 'Bless you' and I don't even remember what I said, but it was one of the biggest gifts anyone's ever given me. He probably needed it more than I did, was in the military, probably knew and loved some people that died and knew what it meant, but he didn't know that, he gave a crying girl a kleenex and just. In loss there's human love, and I hope I said thank you but I don't remember.

I remember lots of things today.

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

— Lt.-Col. John McCrae (1872 - 1918)

Remembrance

2009-11-12T01:02:43Z

Today is another Remembrance Day; I was thinking of my darling Jolene all day today, as well as her brother, Trooper Darryl Caswell, who was killed on June 11th, 2007 by a roadside bomb north of Kandahar in Afghanistan. It's been two and a half years now, and I know he's still missed dearly, by Jolene and many others. (Darling, you're by far the strongest person I know.)

And... I didn't know him, but I remember him, and I think of him, and I thank him more than words can say. Just... thank you. So so much.

<3

don't trip off the glitz that i'm gonna display

2009-11-07T18:32:06Z

My mom and little sister came to visit me this weekend :) They arrived Thursday night along with Nic's mom and little sister, and after doing a house tour and meeting the roommates, I went back with them to the hotel and sat in the restaurant with my mom for several hours drinking wine (!) and talking about life. The following morning I went with them for breakfast pastries and we went to Chapters (I, like, live there now) before sitting in the Chateau Laurier (a v v fancy hotel) and catching sight of a Stephen Harper lookalike. We would have thought it was actually him were it not for the fact that he was walking alone, which Stephen Harper does not and would not be allowed to do. But still!

We tried to walk around the mall, but our list of things to do was a bit limited because Nic's mom has a broken foot - I had to leave for a meeting and my politics class (during which Burdz and I finished an entire crossword puzzle! So proud of ourselves...), but went to see an IMAX with them afterwards. The IMAX wasn't that good :( I miss the old IMAXes, the ones about coral reefs and rainforests and the Nile, where you get hardcore motion sickness and helicopters going through valleys and stuff. Those were epic.

We brought Nic, Catya, and Marley with us to dinner and then the Roommates and I went off to see Musician Man's show (a classmate of ours has a band - very good band - and he'd asked us to come and we were perfectly thrilled to), which was all the way out in bumfuck nowhere, but we made it! It was in a CHURCH which had been converted for the night into a SKATE PARK. Yeah, you heard that right. It soon became evident why he had asked us to come.

CATYA (via text): Is this going to be a high school party?
HE: I dunno but it's gonna be siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick!

(We quoted him on that for the duration of the night, ps. No-one says that and gets away without a little bit of teasing.) It was mostly high-school students - actually, mostly grade 9 boys in hipster shirts (lol), but it was pretty cool, and their band is really good! They were the second set, so we all rushed up to stand under the stage (...pulpit?) and pretended to be bowing, lol. It was a lot of fun, and he obviously appreciated having us there (since we were, like, the whole crowd), and they were AMAZING! <3 I went for crepes this morning with the family before they had to leave. I love seeing them!

P.S. JON STEWART YOU WERE ALREADY MY FAVOURITE PERSON BUT NOW I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE. I don't think anyone's allowed to say you can't act anymore, lol. XDDD

P.P.S. I have listened to this song like 18 million times. Each time it gets more hilarious - especially because I have one that has Ryan Seacrest's radio show on either end and so I have to listen to him say 'bro' every time. Also I seem to be on some kind of Kelly Clarkson kick, which is odd as I don't normally like her style of music but I have honestly done nothing but listen and dance to it for like two weeks now.

you can only ignore Dumbledore for so long, you can pretend that the Ministry knows what's going on

2009-11-03T00:00:57Z

First Things First: I HAVE DROPPED RESEARCH METHODS BECAUSE IT IS NO USE TO ME AND I WILL SOON BE AN ENGLISH MAJOR.

Aaaaaand I celebrated by spelling "celebratory" wrong in my fbook status. *FACEPALM* Wow, what a great way to start off, huh? Clearly I am destined for *~*greatness*~*

I finally had my Appointment of Doom with my faculty (and really I shall miss them, their office is in the nicest building on campus) and the lady was the most confusing person on the history of the planet, but I think I know what's going on, and I just have to fill in a form and then wait for the Administrative Powers that Be to process it and ~voila! I will be an English major. Once that happens, I can go to my new faculty and declare a minor, and in the meantime I can pick out my courses for next semester and start trying to register for them. Even though I wasn't entirely sure this weekend that it was the right thing to do, life = nothing 100% (IF YOU SPOT THIS FIC QUOTE THEN YOU WIN EVERYTHING FOREVER ~~including ai podfic, apparently~~) so I just went ahead and did it, and I really just feel like a big weight came off my shoulders. *g*

I got a few midterms and assignments back, and they weren't great :/ I really haven't been putting in enough effort this semester. And, uh, I like my scholarship. So it's time to stop staring into space, methinks. I also picked up a pamphlet from the yoga place down the street and am planning on getting the arse into gear (pun very much intended) that way as well.

Marks aside, I've had a few pretty good classes recently in Contested Places (<33) because we started Territory and Territoriality, and have spent like four classes straight on Israel and Palestine, which I never felt I had a good bead on before but it's so simultaneously fascinating and sadness-inducing (studying history always does to me what horror movies do: all I can think is that yelling "DON'T GO DOWNSTAIRS, YOU FOOL! DON'T YOU *KNOW* THAT'S LIKE THE WORST POSSIBLE THING YOU CAN DO, YOU'RE JUST MESSING EVERYTHING UP! WHAT ARE YOU *DOING*!?!?" isn't really helpful).

"Virtue is a mean between two vices, one of excess and one of deficiency, and it is a mean because it aims at the intermediate condition in feelings and actions. And that is why it is hard work to be excellent." -Aristotle

Halloweek

2009-11-01T15:24:50Z

THINGS I LEARNED FROM HALLOWEEK:
-There is indeed such a thing as too much makeup.
-That I enjoy being in-character, even if that 'character' is just a doll: I skip down stairs, hold my purse like a little girl, and do doll blinks, and don't even realize I'm going it.
-Narcissism makes for some pretty awesome photos.
-It doesn't matter what you do to your hair - the wind will fuck it up.
-The vast majority of people will never say anything out loud about weird clothes; they will, however, stare at you and silently judge you.
-The vast majority of people love it when weird things happen.
-It is entirely possible to completely forget that you're dressed like Robin Hood and wonder why people are staring at you.
-Don't take yourself seriously. You're dressed like a 6-year old doll, self. Take a chill pill.
-If I don't have a piece of clothing I need, my roommates will.
-Always wear shorts under your costume. ALWAYS.
-How to be comfortable being different/standing out/looking ridiculous in public. So what if I look like a freak show? I ~OWN~ my ridiculousness, and I refuse to feel stupid about being awesome.

Not that Halloweek is particularly profound, or really anything other than a random piece of fun for two people, but I - believe it or not - am a relatively self-conscious person. And on a normal day, I don't stand out. Nobody's liable to watch me while I ride a bus, or look at me funny in class: I've got the privilege of Looking Normal And Harmless, and I've never had that happen before. And even though most of the costumes involved us looking at least somewhat attractive, as soon as you put a coat or a backpack on and add wind and scratch your face, you're going to look silly. And people are going to think you look silly. And people are very unsubtle creatures, so you will undoubtedly know that you look silly, or that other people think you look silly. But if I'm walking to school dressed as a bowling pin and I'm grinning from ear to ear because I love costumes and being dressed up as fun, and someone walking the other way gives me a once-over (in my rain-spattered tights, red band around my head, and backpack buckles done up over my coat) and a '~Seriously? Ugh' look? And I'm supposed to feel like I'm being judged, or that I look stupid, or I'm anything less than fabulous?

Too bad. I don't care. Because I'm having the time of my life, and you're judging me for looking like the fool I love being. Enjoy your life! Because mine's pretty awesome :D

I like to make myself believe that planet Earth turns slowly

2009-10-30T20:15:06Z

I really love today's costume because it is both low-maintenance (NO MAKEUP! I CAN TOUCH MY FAAAAACE. Oh the relief) and awesome: we all sat in formation in class as bowling pins (in all-white with red bands around our foreheads). Alas there could be no flash mobs because our bowling ball had forgotten to dress up and also it was raining like a mofo (WHY MUST IT RAIN HERE? WHY CAN'T IT RAIN IN KENYA, WHERE THEY ACTUALLY *NEED* IT?). International Relations became moderately interesting when some idiot in the back was all 'there's no reason Canada should help or have to help anyone else in the world. Like, they're in their own conflict on another continent' and then like 19 hands in the class went up and my dear Burdz was able to put my anger into words that were more elegant than my own, which was somewhere around the lines of 'Colonialism, bitch. Learn about it. Also, it's called being a human being.'

Because it is his wont, the prof only let the discussion go on for a few minutes before he dragged us back to mercantilist views of IPE (because obviously that's so much more engaging). There's been a colossal amount of stupid - and self-centred idiocy - in both of my politics classes over the past week (like, 'Canada gives so much money to foreign aid, why should we improve or give more?' BECAUSE POVERTY STILL EXISTS, DAMMIT. WHAT DO YOU THINK FOREIGN AID IS *FOR*??!). Yesterday's discussion group for Political Thought turned into a 'why poor people are poor' discussion, and even though there was thankfully none of the 'they're not trying hard enough' wank going around, there was still enough disconnection and privilege and 'well some people choose not to finish high school, you know' irrelevancy happening that it just gets hard to respond to at some point. Like, sometimes you can't even discuss things rationally (as that MTQ would say "it's like trying to do math with someone to whom 2 means 6 and 3 means paprika").

The article under discussion was another of the 'Uses of a Liberal Education' series, this time by Earl Shorris, and can be found here if you want to read it.
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I'm still confused about the switching-majors thing... my appointment is next Monday, and I'm still bouncing back and forth between whether I want to or not, aghl. I just want to get this out of my life, and I know if I don't I'm still going to want it, but I'm still thinking my current degree is better for what I want to do. Let the second round of introspection commence!
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And because I'm basically spending the next 48 hours dancing my face off and dressing up and engaging in the kinds of activities that will one day make it difficult for me to run for elected office, may I wish you all a Happy Halloween. Here, have a classic Even Stepvhen on the subject. "THERE GOES STINKY STEVE!" "I WANNA BE A VAMPIRE!" "GO ON, RING MY DOORBELL!" :DD

The one above is for Canucks, here's the American link here:

Down the rabbit hole

2009-10-29T03:10:00Z

As a side-note before I begin: I EFFING LOVE THIS SONG AND IT IS MY NEW ANTHEM. THE END.
-----------------
Halloweek continues to be AWESOME. Yesterday was Robin Hood (complete with construction-paper hats and feathers, as well has two sets of bows-and-arrows: one from Canadian Tire, one fashioned from random stuff in our backyard) and I had to take the bus alone again and I'm sure I was laughed at - but as soon as I came into Politics and plopped down beside Catya, all was made well. The prof (a man I despise for his horrible teaching skillz, even though he seems like a moderately pleasant person) looked up and said we had nice hats and spent the next ten minutes trying to scare us about H1N1, and the following 20 minutes actually being awesome and sarcastic and tearing people apart for being all 'well Canada gives lots of money to foreign aid' and 'I'm a student, I shouldn't have to help' and it was awesome because he just started swearing and being intelligent. But then he got boring again so I stopped paying attention.

We staged the photoshoot on the front lawn, which had trees and fences and piles of yellow leaves - and good thing we did, because when we walked by today they were blowing all the leaves away (#45 Things I Hate About Our Society: electric leaf-blowers. What is the point, you morons?) and had an amazing time.

Today's theme was Lost Little Girls, so Catya was Little Red Riding Hood, and I was Alice in Wonderland (because as you know I have the dress) - it was odd in that it wasn't immediately obvious I was in a costume, so I just got weird looks for wearing a ribbon on my head and 18 trucks of makeup. But we found a path with lampposts by the gorgeous old theatre building (all the buildings on our campus are ugly, so it was really the only option) and had another epic photoshoot with Catya's basket of cookies and rain everywhere :D

Funny story about the cookies. If you needed more proof that my house is ghetto (other than the whole in the kitchen floor and the fact that two weeks ago we had to punch 20 holes in the basement/Catya's bedroom to connect the heating system to the furnace)? I was baking cookies, whatever, and apparently the insulation melted off the coil and it started sparking and making mini-fireworks and it's all okay (I tried to bake the cookies in the toaster oven but that was weird) and we got it replaced, but yeah. This house. Is crazy.

Pictures from the first two days up on fbook, those of you who have me on there. If anyone wants to add me on fbook I can provide you with the deets - I just won't ever be putting IRL pictures of myself out on the Wide Internets.
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In seriousness now, I need opinions: tomorrow's theme is Super-Human Strength, and Catya is going to be a superhero and I will be a Maasai Warrior (because I own the shukahs and the bow). However, I was only going to change into it for the photoshoot (on a fire escape!) and not wear it to my discussion group because I'm a bit unsure about it. Because the maasai aren't storybook characters or archetypes or traditional figures open to public whoring-out (not in that sense, but I can't quite say what I mean here) like the other ones: they're people, and it's a complex culture, and it's a culture that's not mine, and I wouldn't want anyone to think that I was making it into a joke or a stereotype or just exploiting the "pretty"ness of the traditional wear, because that's not why I'm dressing up as a Maasai Warrior. Now obviously I know a bit more about the Maasai than random people in my discussion group, and I can talk about (and obviously learn way more about still, because I am clearly not actually Maasai and three weeks of knowledge is nothing compared to a lifetime) the culture and the history, but I would hate to give the wrong impression, or make a misstep, or hurt or offend anyone. So. Opinions? Should I wear the shukah and strut proud into my discussion group in-costume (since that's the whole point of this week), or should I keep it just for our own house and photoshoot, or should I not do it at all? Because I don't really know enough about issues like this yet to be able to put my finger exactly on what would be wrong with it, and I feel like on some levels it wouldn't be wrong at all, but obviously my perception of the costume is going to be different than other peoples'. (Let me know, and don't spare my feelings. If you think it's totally cool, then cool.)

For those unsure about what I mean by Maasai? I present Felix, my Maasai Warrior Husband. (Also, Felix now has FACEBOOK, WHAT. LOL FELIX.)
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TAYLOR SWIFT CONCERT SHOULD I GO Y/N?

The crinoline's for insulation

2009-10-27T02:03:17Z

First day of Halloweek: officially a success of epicsauce. Last night Catya and I tried out our makeup and costumes, and woke up at unholy hours this morning to get it just right. I wore this dress over a red tutu and a white frilly tanktop, with white ballet tights, white ballet flats with bows, and with my hair in pigtails with white ribbon. I also did EPIC doll makeup and honestly the bus ride to school was SO MUCH FUN, I was just reading my newspaper, nothing to see here, and I would look up and people would be full-out STARING and GRINNING THEIR FACES OFF.

In Contested Places, Burdz and I sit close to the front, and today - the one day! - I put my hand up to answer the prof's question and did so while he proceeded to try to act normally but couldn't stop looking. In Political Thought, I started a tally of how many times the prof looked at me awkwardly - he started avoiding looking at me (Burdz said I was being self-involved, but I COULD TELL), and in the last five minutes I was just looking at him, head tilted, and he looked at me and I slowly tipped my head to the other side and didn't change expression and he did the most EPIC double-take of life. Muahahahaha! Arabic is such a small class that people actually asked questions, and the prof didn't notice until I answered a question and then said "What is going on here? I love your eyes!!" and Hot Boy In Front gave me like the biggest grin ever.

It was so much fun - more like a social experiment than anything (I learned that NOBODY will EVER ask you, I suppose because we're so schooled to be "oh whatever, they're doing their own thing, I won't judge"), and not only did dressing up like an awesome doll make me feel super cute the whole day, it was also so much fun to see how thrilled people get from people dressing up randomly and walking around campus. Catya and I had an epic photoshoot on the columned front of the main building (it was SO FREEZING) and EVERYONE was looking, including a little girl who like ran away when I waved at her. lol.

Tomorrow is Robin Hood and Little John for politics class, photoshoot on the front lawn with the trees, and then GROCERY SHOPPING. It's like a week of flash mobs (even though Friday is the one we've actually planned flash mobs for). I love flash mobs: just people being awesome and happy FOR NO REASON WHATSOVER OTHER THAN BECAUSE IT'S AWESOME. For those unfamiliar with the concept: Wiki tells me it is a large group of people assembling suddenly in a public place, performing an unusual action for a brief time, then dispersing. Some examples:
-designed to attract attention/publicity stunt: flash mob dance of 'Single Ladies' in London. These girls have mad skillz, yo.
-designed to make people awkward: a random one in the middle of a cafteria. Everyone is SO AWKWARD.
-designed to be cool: everyone freezes in Grand Central. (I've done this one before in Toronto, people come RIGHT UP TO YOU.)

And MY FAVOURITE (SO MANY HAPPY TEARS EVERY TIME I WATCH IT), the epic Sound of Music one in the Netherlands.

And long overdue, another KenyaTale: not a comprehensive one this time, but a straight journal entry from May 31st written on the plane from Nairobi to Amsterdam. Apologies for the purple and also the interspersed Bruce lyrics (I get maudlin on recycled airplane air :P). All the KenyaTales are here.

I finally cried. The last few days - the last lorry ride to Nairobi in particular - I had just been trying to soak in as many maize fields as possible, and wondering why my heart wasn't feeling the ache and pull my brain told it it should be. Last night at dinner, I kept catching the waiters' red tunics in the corner of my eye and thinking it was Felix. On the airplane, I looked through all of my pictures while 'Africa' played. I wrote postcard after postcard that dulled the past three weeks to simple sentences I mixed and matched.

I watched 'The Wrestler,' and thought the movie was sad, the dying scene (no pun intended) brought about the Bruce song. I sat and listened to the beautiful, proud, pathetic song and looked across the plane out the blind window, thinking of blue and green maize fields, and I cried.

I cried because I realized that with my iPod, a few more t-shirts, and a new tube of toothpaste, I could have stayed there. I could have. I would have. I felt as if I had finally discovered something better than what makes me the happiest: what I need. All I need. Good, dirty, physical work (hardening muscles under a cloudy sun with cement under your fingernails). Amazing people who make you laugh and think and be (bearded orange laugh and cheeky red swishing blankets). A place that just gives and gives and gives, its heart wide open (mountains of red soil and torn school uniforms stamping out the beat). All the small things and big that fit a rhythm you'd heard before, but not with your eyes open (jostling lorries in rivers of mud and steaming milky chai).

I heard a worn, beautiful voice tell me about one-trick ponies and leaving with less than I had before, and I thought of hte ground streaming away below the plane. I can say right now that this is my life, that this will be my life, without knowing exactly what 'this' is other than only and everything I need.

There are things waiting for me at Pearson - things I like and like having and have been overdue on having for over three weeks now. But I don't need them. I'm scared to go back and need them again, have them again, let them rule me again. I can make you smile when the blood it hits the floor. I miss Africa already. I need Africa. I want to wrestle with this for the rest of my life.

Let the Wild Rumpus Start!

2009-10-25T16:29:50Z

Yesterday I accomplished nothing due to me waking up at 11:00 - I have never slept in that late, but after a week of early mornings and late nights (the late nights being no-one's fault but my own, of course. Or perhaps I could blame internet porn. LOL) I really needed the recharge. I went downtown with A-Dubs to meet Mariya - it was a mini-reunion of the Kenya Crew! We had lunch at La Marche/Richtree (all different states from different parts of the world, too much good food to handle) which in my case was a brunch of Pizza Margherita and Pecan Pie :DDD

And then we went and saw Craig! He was giving a talk as part of the Ottawa Writers' Festival because he and his brother have just finished a book called 'The World Needs Your Kid' about how to raise compassionate and aware children. I love seeing him speak, because he's just SO INTO whatever he's talking about, and it was a speech about what he does, of course, and about what youth can do, but also about his own childhood and how the things parents and teachers and mentors do help shape children who are not - as the Dalai Lama says - "dispassionate bystanders." After he was done there were some very good questions from both the awesome CBC personality/moderator and people in the crowd, including like an 8-year old who STUMPED Craig by asking him if there was one thing more he had not yet acheived that he wanted to in helping children.

When it was over we all lined up to sign things, and Craig is so awesome: he was thrilled to find out the three of us had been to Kenya together (and that we recognized Nbala from his slideshow!!) and asked us what we were doing and we talked about the MOBilizers trying to get started in Ottawa and We Day and it was just so epic because he's amazing and talked to us for quite a while before we snapped a beautiful picture and dashed off. ~~I wanted to give him a haircut, though.~~

Mariyya had a car, and after we discovered she and I both wanted to see 'Where the Wild Things Are' she drove us out to the movie theatre. We hung around in Chapters (you guys. The computers in Chapters have a search function where you can LOOK UP BOOKS THAT WERE ON THE DAILY SHOW) reading books and looking at travelogues and biographies and going to the kid's section to read 'Where the Wild Things Are,' and then we went to Montana's for dinner before going to the movie theatre.

I loved the movie <3333 It was gorgeous and sad and adorable all at once. The main actor was BEAUTIFUL, he was so good! Oh my heaaaart <3 It was an amazing movie: not necessarily FOR kids (it's actually pretty scary for kids, I thought), but about kids and about childhood and about imagination and wanting and oh it was beautiful. The kind of movie that you can write essays about, with the themes and the overlapping between real life, and just the perfect little portal into that world we all once knew. There are funny bits, and scary bits (actually, it probably scared ME more than it scared any of the kids that were there), and sweet bits and sad bits, but it's just a beautiful, beautiful movie.

It was so wonderful to get back together with some people who went to Kenya and talk about things: about Felix, about the other people on our trip, about what more we want to do (Mariyya and A-Dubs are probably going to India with Free the Children this summer) and a lot of the things I don't talk about on a regular basis. I talk about world issues and poverty and Africa a lot, but not about specific experiences or what I remember, and it was great to be with people who knew what it was like. And also they're awesome people - Mariyya and I basically have a giganto list of places we need to travel to together now, haha. And as Mariyya said, "Every time I see Craig I just get reaffirmed once more in what I want to do and what my priorities should be and I feel like I'm on the right track."

WORD. Also I spent wayyyyy too much money yesterday :/ Time to read 'Nichomachean Ethics,' fun times. Also, I saw TWO KIDS yesterday just around Ottawa that were at my school outreach day. Weeeeeird. Pictures from Kenya? YES: