mcollinknight

ETA: NEW HALLOWEEK PHOTOS ARE UP ON FACEBOOK :DDD

I ACED TWO FINAL PAPERS WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :D :D :D

Well, okay. Not *aced*, but I did proportionally well considering the whole time-it-took-to-write-them thing, and I am pleased with the results. Not what I would LIKE, but good nonetheless. I went all-out Hollywood on my conclusion for Contested Places, and cited the quote as Romeo Dallaire, personal communication November 16 2008 and the TA wrote "WOW, REALLY!?!?" beside it, LOLOLOLOL FOREVEEEEEEEER XD

I have been augmenting the nonstudying with episodes of the West Wing, since I've wanted to watch it basically since RBR started, and it was my mission last summer, and I finally have high-speed internet and a tiny amount of time to watch it. I REALLY REALLY LIKE IT. IDK, I don't like Martin Sheen's prez so far... his little speeches about Ancient Rome etc are interesting, but he's very preachy and ~above it all and oho-aren't-I-profound, idk. JOSH LYMAN <3 <3 <3 I really love CJ and Sam and Charlie as well, and it seems so very fast-paced, even though they talk a lot and things don't happen a lot - but I guess that's ~life in the White House. The dialogue is awesomesauce, and I've already almost-cried once, aha. I'm about four episodes into the first season since last night (because doing budgets sucks, and I needed a distraction).

My first exam is on Wednesday, and I'm very nervous, because while I know Arabic, my vocabulary isn't up to snuff and I'm relying mainly on feeling it out or knowing certain parts, not knowing the exact rules. Tomorrow is going to be Studay Extraordinaire Day (+ yoga + baking apple dumplings, om nom nom) with Marley.

YAY for loffly v-gifts of snowflakes!! Though, uhm, not like yesterday morning. When I decided to check ontd_ai and then was part of a group that sent novelized over 15000 snowflakes, lol. It was sort of epic. Her poor inbox :( Her profile is nice and snowflakey though!
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Had my last Contested Places class today - I love that class, I've learned so much (both information and knowledge) and the prof is amazing. The past few lectures, though, have been about Gender and Space, with case studies on women in public space in Afghanistan and a little about North American cities called Gender and Geographies of Fear. It was really really interesting, and delved a lot into theory, but was also a section that relied on class participation a lot.

And when there's open class participation in a discussion about gender, sexism, and/or Afghanistan? There's usually fail.

And fail there was. SERIOUSLY. As I was saying (mostly jokingly) to Catya, I have a new rule for second-year university classes about gender issues: MALES ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TALK, JFC. Or I guess they can, so the prof can slap them around a little and thus prove how stupid most of the questions are. Some guy in the back had to go and say that there are services available to help women in Afghanistan, but "~~studies have shown" that a lot of women don't use them, or won't, so they must *like* living like that, right?? And anyway it's all religion, because Saudi Arabia has things like that too!

>:( NO. SIT DOWN. MAYBE THEY DON'T GO TO THE POLICE BECAUSE THE POLICE WON'T BELIEVE THEM. MAYBE THEY DON'T REPORT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE BECAUSE THEY'LL GET BEATEN EVEN WORSE. MAYBE THEY DON'T GO TO SHELTERS BECAUSE MALES GET CUSTODY OF KIDS. But whatever it is, don't you ever DARE say it's because "they want to live like that." (Also fyi it's not religion, it's the male patriarchy in a culture where men's honour is tied to women's bodies so women are treated like a resource. IT'S. NOT. RELIGION.) A few other students countered well to that, and then the prof walked up to the guy (the prof is like 6 foot 2 and the student was sitting down) and said "if I was your husband, and I was slapping you around for everything you said, and you live with my parents and I, and I have the power to take away your children any time, and my brother's a police officer, what are you going to do? It's not about liking situations or being used to situations, it's about the limits you have in society to determine your own actions and future and the difference between legal equality and the facts on the ground."

And then while talking about North America and why males are more likely to report assault (or I think it was something about more males going into situations where assault was a possibility? idk), and some guy in front of me says that women are "more naturally fearful."

It was at this point that Carl had to tell me to "settle down, Tiger." >:( NO. MAYBE WOMEN MIGHT BE MORE *AFRAID* TO WALK AROUND ALONE AT NIGHT, BUT THAT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE THEY KEEP GETTING *RAPED*, NOW ISN'T IT? The prof answered that with a "well males are more likely to be idiots, yes," and then told us about how he got mugged in Washington for being an "idiot male. Trust me, no woman would have got mugged the way I got mugged!"

In the previous lecture, the prof asked us how we defined gender or gender roles in society. Of course, most people in the class misinterpreted the question as "tell me society's gender stereotypes." When we got to the sixth one for men, which was someone saying they provide for and protect a family, the prof said "look how we get to the sixth one and still no mention of being a father, of caring for children. Think we would have gotten past three for women without someone bringing up the caring of children?" The prof was amazing at countering people and facilitating discussion, but it was a discouraging class nonetheless for the way people refused to come up with their own thoughts on what defined gender.

And of course there was the class where someone asked if "racism ever existed in Canada." (Oh, honey. You need to leave the house once in a while.) Now, I'm just a wee baby feminist who's made some pretty bad fails of her own, but I think the problem here is that there's a lot of ugly stuff we carry around with us that isn't acknowledged, isn't talked about, and people don't know it's wrong, or they don't know why, or they have a sneaking suspicion it's wrong but won't ever air it out for fear that it will smell bad. Canadian society has this veneer we're proud of, this politeness and niceness and ~tolerance (and tolerance SUCKS. Since when is that our ultimate goal?) we like to be known for, and I think that comes with a lot of fear of offending people. Which is a good thing. No-one likes to be offended and no-one likes to offend other people. But the problem is that we get to thinking that open conversations about how racism and sexism hurts people hurts people even MORE, so we don't have those. It's not nice to talk about. It's not nice to say that it's there (but it's there). And our reaction to learning that it's there is to smile nervously, shrug and say that it's terrible, isn't it, but what can you do?

I'm generalizing here about my Canadian observations, but I really do think it's a problem, because if this class is the first time people are talking about institutionalized racism, or how *~*~MULTICULTURALISM!!~*~* doesn't always translate to the ground, then some pretty ugly things are going to come out of that discussion. Because people haven't been told they're wrong before, because they've never said it before, or never knew they thought it before. And then instead of worrying about offending people you actually do. Either that or everyone talks about how men are strong and Bring Home The Bacon, because they want to answer the question correctly for Teacher even if they know, they KNOW that's not what defines men, but they have some misguided notion that's how society tells them it defines men, and really what other alternative is there? What other alternative is there to having concrete notions of what we should tell women and men they are in charge of acheiving with their lives?

Well, there's the alternative of fluidity, that I can be me and you can be you and Shafiq can be Shafiq and Kathleen can be Kathleen and we can learn to live with each other and have the freedom to accomplish what we want to accomplish, and who we are as a person can be entirely based on our interactions with each other and our experiences of common humanity, on our own definitions of strength and weakness and honour and success.

But that would be difficult, wouldn't it.

... wouldn't it?

I really love today's costume because it is both low-maintenance (NO MAKEUP! I CAN TOUCH MY FAAAAACE. Oh the relief) and awesome: we all sat in formation in class as bowling pins (in all-white with red bands around our foreheads). Alas there could be no flash mobs because our bowling ball had forgotten to dress up and also it was raining like a mofo (WHY MUST IT RAIN HERE? WHY CAN'T IT RAIN IN KENYA, WHERE THEY ACTUALLY *NEED* IT?). International Relations became moderately interesting when some idiot in the back was all 'there's no reason Canada should help or have to help anyone else in the world. Like, they're in their own conflict on another continent' and then like 19 hands in the class went up and my dear Burdz was able to put my anger into words that were more elegant than my own, which was somewhere around the lines of 'Colonialism, bitch. Learn about it. Also, it's called being a human being.'

Because it is his wont, the prof only let the discussion go on for a few minutes before he dragged us back to mercantilist views of IPE (because obviously that's so much more engaging). There's been a colossal amount of stupid - and self-centred idiocy - in both of my politics classes over the past week (like, 'Canada gives so much money to foreign aid, why should we improve or give more?' BECAUSE POVERTY STILL EXISTS, DAMMIT. WHAT DO YOU THINK FOREIGN AID IS *FOR*??!). Yesterday's discussion group for Political Thought turned into a 'why poor people are poor' discussion, and even though there was thankfully none of the 'they're not trying hard enough' wank going around, there was still enough disconnection and privilege and 'well some people choose not to finish high school, you know' irrelevancy happening that it just gets hard to respond to at some point. Like, sometimes you can't even discuss things rationally (as that MTQ would say "it's like trying to do math with someone to whom 2 means 6 and 3 means paprika").

The article under discussion was another of the 'Uses of a Liberal Education' series, this time by Earl Shorris, and can be found here if you want to read it.
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I'm still confused about the switching-majors thing... my appointment is next Monday, and I'm still bouncing back and forth between whether I want to or not, aghl. I just want to get this out of my life, and I know if I don't I'm still going to want it, but I'm still thinking my current degree is better for what I want to do. Let the second round of introspection commence!
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And because I'm basically spending the next 48 hours dancing my face off and dressing up and engaging in the kinds of activities that will one day make it difficult for me to run for elected office, may I wish you all a Happy Halloween. Here, have a classic Even Stepvhen on the subject. "THERE GOES STINKY STEVE!" "I WANNA BE A VAMPIRE!" "GO ON, RING MY DOORBELL!" :DD

The one above is for Canucks, here's the American link here:

It feels like it's been forever since I've posted, when it's only been since Friday or Saturday; it was actually nice to be away from the internet for a while - I got to walk the dogs more and fall back in love with print media like I do every time I go home (I should redirect 'ice cream money' to be 'Globe and Mail money,' next year y/n?).

I'm very glad to be back in the city - as much as I like being home, I just had too many unfun things happen in quick succession (though thankfully Papa's surgery went well. They ended up having to drill a HOLE in his SKULL, what) and the change in environment has relieved more of the stress than I thought it would. I was going to go see Lewis Black (of TDS fame) perform tonight, but it's incredibly expensive and too many hours out of my night when I have to study for my history exam tomorrow. :( :( It sucks, because I really wanted to (and if it was, like, John O then I probably would have), but in the end, well. Can't do everything. Also I had enough fun quoting TDS with Coyote at dinner anyway ("Tell Aasif's wife I love her!!").

We convened at Cat and Coyote's house last night to watch Chuck, which may or may not be ending (Coyote seems to think it will be, and I tend to agree, but we'll keep buying loads of Subway anyway - just in case), and I made a fool of myself while watching commercials. I don't watch tv (and thus commercials) all that often, so I'm always forgetting how stupid they are. Upon seeing one for fertilizer that advertised a 'Thick Lawn For Men!' I said indignantly, "what if *I* want a thick lawn, too?"

The howls of laughter didn't stop for the next five commercials. Doug was *crying*. SUCH IS MY LIFE.
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And now, for a serious note (because I was just going to post this and try to get back to Business As Usual, but I can't): I flail and use caps lock and odd metaphors and only sometimes am serious here, but I just want to say that if I ever, EVER, say something stupid or offensive or anything that makes anyone uncomfortable or unhappy, please tell me. TELL ME. I am a deeply, deeply flawed person, and when I screw up? I screw up big time. I'm very interested and talk a lot about things I'm usually not nearly as learned at as I think I am (actually, I like to talk about things I don't know nearly enough about) - politics, and current events, and international development - and I'm bound to get things wrong. A lot of things wrong. If I do - and when I do - please call me out on it. Because I like listening and reading and learning and getting better at things, but I'm not very good at it. Yet.

I'm back. After another 6 hours on the so-called Tri-Chapter Party Bus (it's fun to say), I'm back in the O-town, faced with laundry, homework, yelling at my computer (for deleting several hundred words of the first draft of this entry), and keeping the lessons I learned and the momentum with me. I have so much to think, and say, and do. It was an amazing experience: I learned an incredible amount, I was inspired, and most importantly, I HAD SO MUCH FUN.

Imma try and break this up (though my engineering/organisational skillz are not what they should be) because it's going to be a LOT. If you have any questions about anything I bring up, feel free to pop them, though I doubt y'all are interested, and this is as much for my own personal catharsis as it is for a recap.

( EWB as an organisation: what I like and admire )


( EWB at the conference: what we did )


( EWB fun times )


( EWB best moments: things I'll remember )


( EWB wrapup: all these things that I've done )

Just got back from a Hunger Banquet co-hosted by EWB (along with Oxfam and International House), which was pretty cool, though not as awesome as I was hoping. We were given little scraps of papers with little bios on them and an income slot - so I was 'Rebecca' from Sudan, and I was low-income, so I sat on these rugs with all the other low-income people and we ate cold rice rolled up in banana leaves, while the middle-income sat on folding chairs with rice, beans, and plantains, and the high-income people had tablecloths and flowers, and ate pasta with vegetables and "wine." And then Z got up and did a little mini-speech on food inequity in the world and why so many people are hungry, and then two profs gave little mini-presentations. And then they brought out the "real" food and we all ate and talked about fair-trade and such. It was cool, I met someone new in fourth year who had to come because of a course she's in called 'International Health' and the teacher makes them go to four seminars a semester. It was cool talking to her, especially since the actual event didn't start until over a half-hour past the time it was supposed to. The best part was seeing Z and having the EWB people recognise me :)

I'm in love with MSNBC's 'This Week in Pictures,' showing between 10-15 photos of events over the past week. Every one of the them is stunning and award-winning, and what I love most is that it covers big events that everybody hears about (like Obama being elected or fires in California), but also long-winded conflicts that aren't in the news as much as they should be (like the picture of a kid in an Ugandan refugee camp picking rice grains up off the ground), as well as just regular, nice, or inspiring things like the first snowfall or a new windfarm. A really broad spectrum, and it does a good job of raising awareness - I always love it (maybe not 'love') when the news shows things like hunger or AIDS or the horrible conflict in the Congo that we don't hear about every day, but that we should. It shows to me the suffering, innovation, grief, tragedy, and beauty of the world in one week :)
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For edumacation: When I first read this article on the Sahel (as well as the Saharan Desert, Darfur, and that whole area of Africa), I was riveted. The writing is GORGEOUS, and while he was researching it, the author as well as his photographer and translator, were kidnapped by rebels in Darfur, tortured, and held hostage. Daoud Hari (the translator), wrote a book about it, "The Translator," and it is such an incredible story, as well as a fascinating look at the Sahelian people and what they face.

"The Sahel is a line.

But it is also a crack in the heart—a tightrope, a brink, a ledge. See how its people walk: straight-backed on paths of red dust, placing one foot carefully before the other, as if balanced upon a knife edge. The Sahel is a bullet’s trajectory. It is the track of rains that fall but never touch the sand. It is a call to prayer and a call for your blood, and for me a desert road without end." 

Subject continued: ... considr'ing everything's a mess.
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Finished another Thursday of Doom, which was enhanced by another awesome History lecture and me still hating Politics (the class). I mean, why can't my history teacher just teach that class, too? Honestly? He's fantastic, he knows so much and he cares about it and cares that we know, and cares that we care. There are 200 people in the class but you honestly feel like he cares. Also he used to teach at another university that didn't have a PoliSci department, so HE FOUNDED ONE. Honestly. The man is awesome. Compared to my Politics prof, who is - and I quote from impensada, who said it best - a complete tool. He had a whole section of his slide show devoted to statistics about how many American high-school seniors can't find the US or Vietnam on a map (50%, actually), etc.

... two things: we know the Youth of Today are supremely uninformed. Yes. You have told us. We are shocked. Moving on. Second thing: I have a friend who says those "survey people" come to his school quite often, and that his entire class delights in filling in the wrong answers ON PURPOSE. I wish he would stop with the subtle American-mocking, really. I mean, I know not to take it seriously and to view everything he tells me with an objective eye, but what about everyone else? That's why I love my history prof, because he's always telling us that our textbook is biased and to watch out and be objective and question what we read and what we're told. And guess what else we did today in Politics? We watched some documentary on Richard Murdoch's media empire, which was ostensibly about globalisation affecting bias and the media, but which was actually an expose on how much Fox News sucks.

O.... K... right. Tell us something we didn't know? (Not to mention that we are Canadian, in a Canadian school, and I know no-one who watches Fox.) Most of it was boring, but whenever Bill O'Reilly came on my BLOOD BEGAN TO BOIL. I can honestly say I despise a complete stranger now. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Argggggggggggggggh. I'm now having imaginary interviews with him in which I completely and totally PWN and shut him down.

I was supposed to watch the English-Language Leaders' Debate tonight, which promises to be very interesting indeed, especially now all the boys have stopped being assholes and Elizabeth May is coming. I really want to see Stephane Dion do something. Anyway. For God's sake, man, stand up for yourself!! I know he won't, but it would be brilliant if he did. But I am very tired, and I have no classes tomorrow, so I'll do it then. Also, apparently the American VP debate is on tonight as well, but I'm not supposed to think about Sarah Palin any more. I have a note from the doctor.

I am definitely in a movie-watching mood, though. Last night I watched Definitely, Maybe, though I was torn between finishing Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day and starting The Last King of Scotland. Also, inspired by my flist I'm in a Disney/children's-movie-watching mood: Wall-E (which I still have not seen, surprisingly enough), Beauty and the Beast, Finding Nemo, The Little Mermaid, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix... any other ones I should see?

( Movie meme of doom! )

Obviously I'm in a very politicking mood. This is party due to many links on my flist, basically THE ENTIRE MEDIA, and also two of my classes (all of which are progressing very well!). Peace on 9/11, y'all.

First OOB: An article about Sarah PalinSLASHfeminism in politiks I found informative and scary - the author has an obvious bias, but it's definitely worth reading: http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2008/09/11/zombie_feminism/index.html

Second OOB: I have a freaky statistic:
The USA has AROUND $9 trillion in total debt. Now, $1 trillion is a very large number; $9 trillion is even larger, and it may be kind of hard to get your head around.

But imagine this: if you had gone into business on the day that Jesus was born, and from that day on proceeded to lose $1 million EVERY SINGLE DAY, 365.4 days a year (including Christmas!), it would take you until 2372 to amass $1 trillion in debt. The US has done this damage NINE TIMES OVER, most of that within the last 10 years.

Pretty creepy. Also, my Politics & Globalisation professor is very anti-American, and for all his talk of "seeing through the Matrix" of propaganda, a lot of his statistics have a very propaganda-ish air to them, and are very preschoolish; today was something about imagining 25 Empire State Buildings made entirely of pennies. Whaaaaa...? However, he has some cool info:

The Art of War: since 3600 BC, there have been only 292 years of peace. BUT, there have been
-14 531 wars large and small
-3 640 000 000 people killed (in war, because of war or in or acts of violence, I'm assuming, since he didn't say)
The value of all destruction done by war would buy a gold belt around the Earth 156 km in width, and 10 m thick.
Since 650 BC there have been 1656 arms races, only 16 of which did not end it war - the remainder ended in economic collapse.

Third OOB: My friend Demetrius has figured something out:
"-There have been 61 homicides in the GTA (Greater Toronto Area, for the non-Canucks out there) since January 1, 2008. (source: http://www.cbc.ca/toronto/features/homicide2008/ )
-The odds of winning the 6/49 Jackpot are 1:13 983 816. (source: http://www.lottery-results-info.com/lotto-6-49.html)
-Today is day 251 in the calendar. That means the odds that a homicide will happen on any given day in the GTA is 61/251, or approximately 1:4.
-There are about 5 million people living in the GTA.
-That means the chance that I, given I live in the GTA, have to get murdered today is 1:4 x 1:5 000 000, or 1:20 000 000.
-The odds of winning the lottery are 1:13 983 816.
A fine example of media influencing the way one lives their life: I have a greater chance of hitting the 6/49 jackpot than I do of being brutally murdered in the city.
(PS: If I die today, first person to comment gets all my winnings.)"
** NOTE: That's a pretty high number of homicides, and it makes me sad. The latest one (I remember hearing about) was committed by a 16-year old: a stabbing of a 15-year old boy in a field in the Peel region.

Fourth OOB:
The last two History lectures have been about the turn of the century, and various movements that were occuring: mainly, colonialism, imperialism, the 2nd industrial revolution, the demographic explosion, and the intellectual discourse. The prof mentioned that Bismark assembled the major European powers in Berlin in 1884 "to divide the continent of Africa." I got this absurd - and yet probably pretty close to the truth - vision of a bunch of old guys saying "OK, so you have can have this chunk, and I'll take this bit here, and why don't we leave that whole side to you guys..." and I was thoroughly disgusted. Yeah, because it was just there for the taking, and you're the big shots, the fact that they had governments and societies of their own was just disregarded. That one meeting probably did much of the screwing-up of Africa, given that they completely missed the mark on ethnic groups, language, differing cultures and ecosystems, and just drew arbitrary lines in the sand. So now whole groups and families are split, and we've got minorities and majorities and so many different and varying groups of people under one government and set of laws and they're just supposed to LIVE WITH IT? Fuck you, Europe. FUCK YOU. Colonialism just disgusts me: and I don't take that crap about the colonizers "civilising" the populations or improving the standard of living and starting industry - they just imposed their own ideas of the way things should be on people and cultures and lands that weren't in any way similar, and just supposed it would work as well, and took what they wanted while they were at it. And then when they discovered that didn't work, or when they were done with it, or when there was nothing left for profit, they just left the colonies - "you're on your own. That's it, we're out. Nice knowing you! Deal with your own problems. We'll just sit over here and sift through our diamonds."

Also, today in History he asked people to name Great Modern Leaders. We got all kinds from the 20th century, like Churchill, Eisenhower, FDR, Putin (my teacher is obsessed with Putin), Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, Pope John Paul II, Pierre Elliot Trudeau (represent!), Martin Luther King Jr, etc. But then he asked the class to name some Great Leaders who are presently in office, some current people who capture the imagination. You know who we got?

Well, I believe the Dalai Lama (and Obama, though he doesn't actually QUALIFY) was brought up, but other than that all we got were a few half-assed suggestions and a lot of blank looks. And you know what? I don't think we HAVE any political leaders who are really incredibly charismatic and great leaders and don't take crap and who people respect and look up to with the reverence reserved for the aforementioned Greats. This is why I'm feeling blase about the upcoming Canadian election: all the candidates are boring. They seem the same. None of them are charismatic (at least not Trudeau-charismatic), and you know what really gets me? None of them - and no real world leaders - appear to have a "grand vision," like Trudeau or Ghandi had. None of them seem prepared to *make* history, they're just going to file the same reports and deal with their job issue by issue, problem by problem, instead of forging their way and having great ideas - it doesn't seem like we're working towards a central point, merely that we're slogging through life waiting for something interesting to show up on the nex bus.

Well, now that you're all thoroughly depressed, I have some (depressing) quotes for you!
"History teaches us that war begins when governments believe the price of aggression is cheap." -Ronald Regan
"We live, after all, in a world where illusions are sacred and the truth profane." -a Pakistani historian, slide changed before I got the name
"Britain has no eternal friends, and no eternal enemies. But we have eternal interests." -Sir Harold Nicholson

I'm out. Peace. I'm sorry to bore you with politicking - if you've got an issue with something I said, I encourage you to let me know and we can have an intellectual duke-it-out in the comments, because I have no class tomorrow, and I'm strangely starting to like talking about politics. Also, sorry if I've forced anything on you - normally I try my very hardest not to.
Love! -c

PPS Sorry for the mega!entry.

Today, for some reason - there may have been a reason, but if there was one I don't remember what it was - I got to thinking about childrearing. The different ways to raise a child. Not like I'm planning on HAVING one anytime soon, but for the past while (the past year, my Year of Activism) I've been determined to raise any children I MAY have to be compassionate, aware citizens. I'd teach them to read super-early and make sure they could at least do that one thing well. I'd encourage more play with sticks and mud and costumes and other children, and refuse to buy an Xbox.

But then I started thinking about my own family. I mean, I consider myself to be a compassionate, open, generous and nice individual (and that's just for starters!! ... jk). But my parents never told me "This is right. That is wrong. Here is what you should believe."

I wasn't raised a certain religion. In fact, I didn't even go to church until 2.5 years ago, and that was my own choosing. I wondered about this - certainly I know now that my dad doesn't go much for religion, mainly because he didn't agree with it growing up, and so this may have been a concious choice on the part of my parents, but I never got the feeling it was. They didn't impose their beliefs on us: as a result, we are our own people, my sisters and I. I am for gay marriage and gay rights, and while my sisters both are, they are still slightly appalled and weirded-out by homosexuality. I'm religious: they're not. We're all different, we're all strong, and we know ourselves. But when I think about it, it is because of my parents, but not because of anything specific they've done.

I love my mom, and she's fantastic, and she and my dad have had, I suppose, I kind of laissez-faire approach to raising us. I mean, I was never told I should be compassionate, we didn't engage in mass exercises of volunteerism and we don't often talk about world events as a family, and yet I'm so driven by them and so interested in world aid and world affairs and I'm fairly involved. I figured it out on my own, and they encouraged me, but not ever by telling me "This is good, keep doing it." I kind of like that idea. We weren't enrolled in special education programs to give us a jump start, they didn't take overly presumptive precautions to put us on the path to success: we simply figured it out. The only tangible thing I can think of is... well, they never HAD to tell us to do our homework or try our best or work hard because we always just DID it and they told us they were proud of us.

And I suppose that's all you really need, isn't it?

It's a Saturday, and I have nothing better to do (besides edit my Fifth Business essay - it's a good book, people, you should all read it) than meme! This one is an icon meme, which I love. The rules are thus ('u's have been added by me, because I dislike American spelling): Reply to this post, and I will tell you my favourite icon(s) of yours. Then post this to your own journal using your own favourite icon. Repost it if you want.

These icons were picked by ronniekins77, but I would definitely like other people to look through my icons and pick their favs so I can do it again. Of course, I will pick some of yours as well.

( Below teh cut... ) @ onlydreamers
Says Nat: Everything about this icon is beautiful. The colouring, the cropping, the sky, the horse. I love it.
Says I: Pretty.
* This is my default icon and matches my profile header. Can you tell I like it?


Title: Blossom Building
Maker: entropic_icons
Says Nat: The contrast is awesome, and I love the border.
Says I: Reminds me of New York, and of school next year in a Big City. Also, a really neat angle.


Title: Schedule
Maker: mariarita @ italian_jewels
Says Nat: [I like] the colouring, the different images to represent a hectic schedule. Nice.
Says I: This is my life.


Title: Wilmos on the Rock
Maker: octoberine
Says Nat: Same thing, pretty much [referring to border and contrast]. It just looks cool.
Says I: I like how he's off to the side.


TItle: Shit is Bananas
Maker: entropic_icons
Says Nat: Because I totally agree.
Says I: Me too.


Title: Tragic Cherry
Maker: mistful
Says Nat: Love the saying, love the font, love the border!
Says I: A quote from Sarah's book review of Eragon.


Title: Let's Go Bridge
Maker: eternalphoenix_
Says Nat: So pretty and unique.
Says I: Reminds me of Michael Franti. A very inspirational icon.


Title: Beatles Sky
Maker: shunemo711
Says Nat: I have a thing for b/w icons and this one is so great! Very unique.
Says I: I concurr (I have a thing for grey).

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Now for the humanitarian project!update. Because spamming flists (even with Highly Important Info) is a passion of mine. I have received the poster for the Brick by Brick campaign (to those who don't know: I'm in charge of raising money within my school to build an elementary school in the Maasai Mara region of Kenya) after two months of waiting. I am somewhat disappointed because it's just the poster, and I thought we were being sent more things, but at least we have it. I just sent off an email to the Free the Children lady asking all kinds of questions about jurisdiction, school fees and the conflict in Kenya (it made me feel smart).

Also, my family has FINALLY got round to choosing our Christmas World Vision presents... by which I mean my dad said, "OK, Colline, you pick," and I said "Thank you." He gave me a $1000 limit! However, after I had chosen, Ann pipes up about school lunches (and what happens after the 30 days, I ask you?) and buying a pig.

Now, I have an issue with this. Bear with me. While providing farm animals for impoverished families certainly can do a lot of good (both as a food source, breeding source, and source of income), it's a subject upon which I am torn. Mostly because I don't believe that everyone in a poverty-stricken situation wants to become or remain a farmer for the rest of their lives. It's not going to get them out of poverty - in most countries, farming is not a profitable enterprise (hell, it's not even profitable in Canada, the Bread Basket), and if the animals don't breed, or you cannot afford to feed them, then what happens? I don't presume to know people's minds, but I think that opportunity, a chance at being able to better yourself and your family, and a marketable step-up on the economic ladder would be far preferable.

However, "provide a job at an oil rig" is not an option in the World Vision catalogue. Another thing I take an issue with is that EVEN IF (as Ann says) these families share the resources provided to them by these animals with the entire community, there wouldn't be enough to go around, and that's still a very small target you've reached. This is my issue with child sponsorship: it's a wonderful thing, don't get me wrong, but that's still one child. One child helped, but if we're going to try to Free the Children (as it were), there is NO BLOODY WAY it's going to happen one at a time.

So most of the things I chose out of the catalogue were the Maximum Impact ones: gifts that were shared for a whole community. I chose to furnish one schoolhouse (with desks, chairs, blackboards etc.), provide supplies for two classrooms (textbooks, paper, pencils, etc.), immunize an entire community of children (against polio, malaria, etc.), and stock two medical clinics (with penicillin, bandages, quinine, etc.). Those, to me, seemed like they could help the greatest number of people in a variety of different ways. Mostly it's health care and education, which are two resources that are lacking in many parts of the world. This way, people are able to better themselves and move themselves forward in the world.

Perhaps I'm sounding too high-and-mighty. I have a feeling Ann is going to win out with the pig thing, since my parents were enchanted by the sound of the sisters cooing about piglets, and I don't think my argument came out well (I was trying not to sound callous, but Ann pulled a, "What about STARVATION!!?!?" moment, so there goes that. But those are my feelings on that. This also relates to my feelings about charities: wonderful, marvelous things, but we've got a million tiny charities helping so few people. It's the large laws, the big political pressure, the economic change, that really sets people off on the climb up the ladder.

Cancer (June 22 - July 22): Sever dozen blemishes on your permanent record will prevent you from getting into the maximum security prison of your choice next week.
"We are the change we wish to see in the world." --Craig Kielburger
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The night of the last dance, Walker and I had a talk with OT: it began as a commentary on how we weren't doing a food drive at the dance getting people to bring in canned goods. It had been called off because several on SPAR thought it was too "last-minute" and it wouldn't get publicised enough. OT thought (rightly) that we had taken the easy way out. He asked us what plans SPAR had for the year. The year, as a whole. For the school, for the community. For the people. He asked us if we were just planning to put on a couple of coffee houses and clothing sales and call it a year at the end, if we were going to write "Student Parliament" on our resume and leave it at that.

He told us how one year, SPAR made a pledge to build 10 wells in Africa - one for each month - by the end of the school year. They had to raise $500/month to be able to do it, but they did. They threw 'Pay What You Can' events and fundraised their arses off, in the school and in the community. They had a vision; they had a plan. Walker and I mainly listened while he talked (I was thinking he should really be staff advisor instead of Cruella). Today at the SPAR meeting, Walker said her piece to conclude, and we devoted the next meeting to thinking of ideas. I told OT we were going to do it and he seemed very glad indeed.

The idea I want to do is one of Free the Children's (Craig Kielburger's NGO) called 'Brick by Brick'. It involves building a school. Buying the lumber, paying the builders, hiring a teacher, sending textbooks. A complete and entire school. I think it's a perfect idea because we just moved into our own new school: we have so much now. A triple gym, a huge atrium, plenty of classrooms, new technology, a state-of-the-art sports facility. Not only do we have so much more than just the average North American high school, but we have so much more than the average child of the world that it's heartbreaking. I think we could give at least a piece of that to some other kids. Not to mention it's only around $7900 total, so we could even do two. We could also build the wells: I'm not going to shy away from "copying" someone else's idea if it's a good one and saves lives.

I'm so glad we're going to do this. I just watched the highlights of Me to We on MTV (lucky Alannah got to go to it and hug Craig Kielburger) - I've been reading the book this past week and it's wonderful. I'm so glad to actually be doing something. It's bizarre: activism and making the world a better place is something I believe in, but somehow I've never done it. It's not widely known, but I nearly signed up to go to Kenya for a few weeks next summer to do volunteer work. I threw $50 in the UNICEF bin and I always bring stuff for Operation Christmas Child, but I've never taken a more active role. Now I feel like I am - or at least I'm going to - and I can't wait. This is what I want to do with my life, this is what I'm going through school for. This is my drug: helping people.

Mentors are so important. I know I would've wanted to do something this year, and I think maybe I could've got SPAR to donate some money to charity at the end of it, but Walker and I just needed OT to ask us on the stairwell: "What are we doing here?" What are we going to do? Is this our life? I'm so glad to finally be doing something: I've been thinking I'll wait for so long. I'll wait 'till I'm older. I'll wait 'till I have money. I'll wait 'till someone grabs me by the neck and asks for help. I'll wait just a little bit longer. The world can't wait. I'm so glad.

I'm so glad. I can't wait.

I got a lot of stuff done this morning, but not nearly as much as I wanted to. On the plus side, I backed up my computer (so it can be operated upon), cleaned out my Hotmail inbox, uploaded and posted all audio files and polished my two mix CDs for . Down side: I didn't get to do any recording or thoroughly comb my flist. Oh well. I'll survive :)

Prepare for a rant. OK. So the other day at work I said to Jake, "Aren't you glad we don't stock Mattel? You just saved yourself an even bigger headache". I assume everyone knows that Mattel is massively recalling TONS of stuff, just months after RC2 did the same. Charges? Lead paint in children's toys. (Side Note: What I find amusing is that all the articles say 'traces above normal levels' or 'above acceptable levels'. So they're allowed to put a little bit of lead in, but not a lot? There's an acceptably amount of poison you can put in a toy?) The Globe and Mail (or, as I like to call it, the Moan and Wail) warned me that parents are beginning to get very suspicious of where toys are made and some were planning to judge a toy based on where it was made.

Sure enough, as soon as I got into work I had someone ask me if we'd been having trouble with recalls, to which I replied that the offending Thomas the Tank Engines were on their way back and that we didn't stock Mattel or Fisher Price. Not two minutes later, I looked sideways to see someone cooing over a puzzle, and then turning it over and pointing accusingly to the 'Made in China' fine print. The puzzle in question was made by Melissa & Doug: as far as I know, a fine American company of humble beginnings. Quite a small company, in fact, but on the up and up. Quality toys, most of them solid wood and brighly coloured. They make anything from puzzles to baby toys. I myself am 100% certain that they are OK in the Lead Department, but it's quite difficult convicing anyone else otherwise when they have their heart set against it.

My cousin works for a large American automotive company, and has on several occasions visited their respective factories in China. He actually showed me a movie of a huge metal press that lifts up, and then comes back down again to put on bolts or connect whatever. And there were people in it. People sat all hunched up, and connected whatever it was they were connecting, and then scrunched in and ducked as the press swung down. They could be KILLED! It was insanity. I know China has a terrible human rights record, as well as being notorious for sweatshops and child labour, as well as unethical manufacturing processes (lead paint being point in case). But they can get it for you wholesale. It's cheap. It's fast. There's lots of it. Compared to something made in, say, Germany (aka Bruder trucks, Schliech figurines, Hesse-Spielzug etc.), China's going to be a LOT less expensive. People are ruled by their wallets. I know I am.

There's reason to be worried. But some lady apparently came in this morning asking for "a doll, but not a doll that's made in China". Lark told her she was out of luck. Corolle, while being an excellent company (the dolls are beautiful, and so sweet), manufacturers in China. The lady left. That's crazy. It is. Her CAR was probably made in China, as were her jeans and her sunglasses.

One of the reasons we don't stock Mattel et al. is that we don't have a hope in heaven of competing (price or variety-wise) with large-scale retailers (*ahemWalMartahem*), but another is that we are a specialty toy store. We carry quality toys that aren't available everywhere. They're educational. We probably have about three things that require batteries. I really believe that most of the stuff we carry comes from companies of good repute, and that they are looking after things on their end to be sure that the toys are being made safely and ethically. Sure, it'd be safer if the kid just played with a cardboard box, but you know what? Some kids aren't Cardboard Box kids, they're Barbie or Superman kids. And if China is where Mattel chooses to make Barbie, well, then, you're out of luck.

So I think that we'll make it through the spate of recalls and picky customers, and if I'm proven to be wrong you can give me a wet willy or whatever you like. I have some serious doubts about some of the Fun Wall stuff (cheapie, toxic-smelling useless toys that look like they're made of glue and nuclear waste); I can just picture it being made by a four-year old. But if three little words on the back of an otherwise brilliant puzzle are going to dissuade a parent from buying it for her two-year old, then I guess that's the way it has to be. I'd like to give China the benefit of the doubt as long as they clean up their act. Thomas and Barbie and Dora would be grateful, I'm sure.

(I did say brace yourselves).

Is it bad that I... ?

Want to put posters in my room of male ballet dancers?

Am addicted to LJ?

Borrow my dad's cds?

Have had crushes on Sirius Black, Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid and Numair Salmalin?

Own three bookshelves and need a fourth?

Am addicted to Jones Soda?

Don't want a car until I'm at least 25?

Own four Baby Names books?

Pretty much everything reminds me of something from a Zits Comic or SBP?

Have books I've read more than seven times?

Listen to the CBC?

Am addicted to William Moseley?

Think that Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Sideways were horrible movies?

Actually believe horoscopes?

Think the best book is the World Atlas?

Once ate an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food for breakfast?

Am addicted to

ladyjaida ?

 

 

Dunk my apple-cider donuts in apple cider?

Am reminded of that awful scene in the Van Gogh movie we watched in art every time I look at my hand lotion and see the brand Kiss my Face?

Wish I lived in Narnia?