mcollinknight

Je viens de faire l'evaluation de cours pour mon cours de francais cette apres-midi, et j'ai quelques pensees a partager (malgre le fait que je ne peux utiliser des accents avec mon ordinateur chiant, q).

I'm in French Immersion at university, which was quite a step, since I wasn't ever in French Immersion in public school or high school, except for Grade 12, when I took both Core and Immersion classes (for those in non-Canadia-land: French Immersion is a program you have to be enrolled in in Canada and can start from junior grades conversing almost entirely in French. The "regular" stream is called Core, and is just learning French language). My darling lovely French teacher, Mme Ellen MacKenzine, finally forced me to join Immersion in Grade 12 after I did a foreign exchange to Belgium (but she has a long history of expecting more from me than I have to give... <3).

Anywa, it's been... well, a struggle. I am actually positive that my level of French has DECREASED since coming to university. For me to keep a grasp on something, especially a language, I need to use it constantly. And frankly, the way French immersion is organised here sucks. It sucks BALLS. I mean, it's still amazing that Ottawa has it, it's a neat program, but I just don't think it works in the way it's intended.

I have to take these French Language courses (grammar and the like), which are HORRIBLE. It's not that I hate grammar: actually, as a Core kid, I like grammar, and am good at it (personal opinion: Core kids are better at grammar, but usually not that great at conversational/oral French, while Immersion kids don't usually know it but don't usually care, and can talk the pants off anyone who listens). It's just that the way they choose to teach it is horrible, and grammar doesn't have to be horrible. The class I took on written French sucked, we just read articles and then answered questions about them - the oral French class is even worse, since we basically don't even talk.

Oral French is where I need the most work - that's why I went on exchange, to get better at it, because even if I've got the accent I'm not comfortable speaking yet. But the class is just spent listening to interviews and then answering questions about them, or on preparing group presentations and trying to engage the class, which is like trying to get a bunch of clownfish to bark the alphabet. This class could be SO MUCH better: if it was more of a round-table discussion class, like my English class is, and if the tests and assignments were little 2-5 minute conversations one-on-one with the teacher about anything. It's not hard to find things to talk about: but as it stands, I learn more from the free workshops the bilingualism centre offers than I do in the class I pay several hundred dollars for and am obligated to take.

So my French is even worse, and I've been finding my Macroeconomie class horrible to do because I'm not engaged in the language or the material because of the language, and I've been doing absolutely horribly on the assignment. Recently I've been wondering if the French Immersion program is worth it, because I kind of don't want to do it any more: I just want to take my courses in English, because it's a heck of a lot more interesting that way, and involves far less heartache. But on the other hand, I just... I want to be bilingual. I want to have that stamp on my degree, I want to be able to work in government, I want to know that language and speak it and travel with it and teach it to other people. I just don't know if this is the best way, or if it's worth paying a lot of money for and damaging my average and the rest of my degree.

The only reason I haven't outright given up on it is because of Mme though - when someone has that much blind faith in you, you can't turn your back on it without enough guilt to flood the Nile. I just... she wanted me to do it, she pushed me for three years and helped me, and told me last year that she knew I would be fine in Immersion because I "attacked learning. If you don't understand something but want to, you don't let it go and you fight with it and you come out on top" (she also immitated a terrier at this point, confusing my mother and delighting me. Mme is awesome). I'm already petrified to go back and see her since I basically CANNOT speak French anymore, and I just know she'd be disappointed with me. But as much as it is her "investment," it's also something I'm doing for myself, and I'm not having fun and I'm not learning, and I'm just wondering at one point it turns from attacking the learning to fighting a losing battle.

Man, I feel like Michelle Obama right now. “Michelle’s always been very vocal about anything,” her mother, Marian Robinson, told me. “If it’s not right, she’s going to say so. When she was at Princeton, her brother”—Craig, now the head basketball coach at Brown, was two years ahead of Michelle—“called me and said, ‘Mom, Michelle’s here telling people they’re not teaching French right.’ She thought the style was not conversational enough. I told him, ‘Just pretend you don’t know her.’ ”

Not that I'm comparing myself to Michelle Obama. I'm not (GOD, I *WISH*, ARE YOU KIDDING?). I'm just saying that perhaps I am pissy to be telling the university how to do things? But it's very clearly not working for me: I need to find some other way to do this. CAN YOU SAY INTERNATIONAL SEMESTER? HO BABY, YES I CAN. I NEED ANOTHER IMMERSION, PRONTO and not in Quebec.

Belgique me manquent. Je voudrais le faire encore: j'etais si jeune. Evidemment j'etais plus confortable la-bas, quand meme que je connais plus maintenant.

( Une image de connaissance... )

I just set up my television two days ago and already CNN is driving me freaking crazy. Sure, I love it, but right now they've got James Carville, David Patterson (who I actually love), Kevin Johnson and Larry King around a table, and earlier it was John King, and all these random "big name" people and they're talking about "well his own PARTY can't even agree, Nancy Pelosi said she disagreed with him on two counts" and "well Obama hasn't said whether he's going to sign the executive order on stem cell research on Day 1," and "I think people are starting to realise it's really happening!" and I just want to yell SHUT UP! STOP TALKING! DO YOU EVEN HEAR YOURSELVES? AGH! It's getting ridiculous, really.

That said, I can't bring myself to turn it off. <3 Happy last-day-of-Bush, people!

Just aced my French presentation, moo ha. We did fairly well, and the teacher (for some reason) thought it was freaking hilarious that KA had brought candies to give out to people who answered questions and was throwing them around. I also re-realised that I can speak French! This may sound weird (like I would have NOTICED), but honestly I haven't: last semester's French class was for Written French, and I barely spoke full sentences, just like "qu'est-ce que ca veut dire" and the like. But I got to talk, deliver my prepared bits, improvise, and when people asked questions or said things I could respond. This may not seem significant, but it's very refreshing to discover, because I've been dreading the feeling of knowing I've lost it, the ability to say what I need to say - even if I don't have the exact word, I can figure out how to say it. I'm also making fewer and fewer grammatical errors. I'm almost - dare I say - bilingual. I'm definitely proficiently bilingual, have been for a while, but actually competently bilingual? That's new. I can't wait for fluently to come.

I'm starting to get really antsy and anxious about next year and where I'll be living and who I'll be living with. One of the problems of being part of a large GROUP is that the group has to split at some point and people get split up and there's always a person or people left inevitably behind. That would be me. Cat, Val, Marley, and one of Val's friends are getting a condo, and I assume the other half of the dinner crew is getting together. Kay is living with her two friends. Pearl and Burdz are living together. I'm going to ask Maria what she's doing, but she's sort the last one of the "group," and after that I can either get a place by myself (OH PLEASE NO), stay on campus (DITTO) or join a bunch of random people looking for an extra roommate because they have a spare room or need to bring the cost down. Which isn't so appetizing because while I get along well with people, I open up slowly and couldn't handle living with people who didn't like me.

Addendums:
-I love writing on chalkboards. It's fun, and makes me feel full of authoritarian sass, like walking in high heels does.
-Marty phoned and left me a drunk message at midnight the other day when I was in Hull, like he told me he would (he also noted in the message that he WASN'T drunk), but it was nice to hear his voice. I haven't seen him in OVER TWO YEARS, this is getting crazy.
-I have so much to do before I leave :(

This is a very funny video about the recent cuts made to Canada's arts programs (by our own Wonderful Stephen Harper): I believe there's a version with subtitles available somewhere, and keep in mind the French word for "seal" while you watch it.


I just realised that I have not yet posted about my roommate! Her name is Kay, and she is tall and red-headed and in Biochemistry and has joined the rowing team, which means that I do not quite understand how she can function on a daily basis, since she gets up at 4:30 am six days a week. She is very lovely - for a while we just sort of waved at each other twice a day because of 101 craziness, and also she's always on the sciences side of campus and I'm on the arts side, and also her schedule is crazy. But so far it's going very well, we get along, and thankfully we see eye-to-eye on some things, like the drunken parties that grace our floor. I think we are very well-matched, and the only potential problem will be that we are both very polite and do not wish to offend. It is for this reason that I do all my television-watching on the internet, because all the shows I like are on late and if someone is getting up at 4:30 in the morning I realise the last thing they want to hear is me laughing at 11:30.

( Interesting Song/Language Meme )
I'm trying desperately to retain all the information in my brain for my midterms, which seem to be ALL next Thursday - had a large study session about the Russo-Japanese war today that did virtually nothing but illuminate me as to how much I have actually forgotten in the span of two weeks. On the bright side, I got some grocery shopping done today (I know have bacon, lemonade AND three boxes of Eggo Blueberry Waffles), I worked out, AND I got myself over to Ottawa Little Theatre to volunteer - I really hope to hear back from them. I keep dropping by the Hagen and the Theatre building and scouring the place for ads for auditions... I know plays go on at universities, so I want to know where all the Ottawa ones are, or if I have to start doing some myself.

I should be doing homework right now. Aren't I a rebel. I must finish it soon so that IJS and ISC and I can continue with our conversations ;)

Cancer (June 22-July 22): Red-bellied trout are known for traveling halfway across the country in search of a mate, but it's still a bit of a surprise when hundreds of them arrive at your doorstep
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First OoB: I just registered to vote! I was a little worried about that because I don't officially live in Ottawa and I won't be home to vote there, but it's all straightened out now :) Also earlier today I was in this French workshop thing and we ended up talking about Sarah Palin and how I was the only one there who had even the slightest fondness for the season of winter. Where I tread, conversations go off-topic. It's my superpower (Stephen Colbert is infecting my brain already. Jaden, I blame YOU).

Second OoB: The French Thing. I love French. And I've always sort of believed it's something I'm good at. However, I also know that if I don't use it - and I mean every single week - I lose it. All. I didn't speak one WORD of French this summer (that's a lie. I once asked Karlee to pass me a box in French), and I didn't actually realise how much I had lost. I'm in FRENCH IMMERSION. At UNIVERSITY. I mean, obviously bilingualism is a great and wonderful thing and I need it and it's going to be so useful, but I need the certificate or I can't actually declare myself to be bilingual. But now, when I think - seriously think - about taking one of my regular courses in French, I don't like it. I'm not looking forward to it. It's going to be hellish. I'm in a FSL class right now, and I'm feeling supremely unconfident in my aptitude for spoken French. Maybe Mme Ellen MacKenzie was just really lenient, I don't know, or maybe I need to face up to the fact that YES I REALLY AM MAKING ALL THOSE MISTAKES IN THE LITTLE RED CIRCLES. Obviously it's going to improve, but I don't think it's going to because I'm only in class two times a week. I need to keep doing the little French workshops or I am going to go back at Thanksgiving and have Mme SUPREMELY unimpressed.
     Also there is the coolest person in my French class. Her name is Canary and she has an awesome haircut and went to Bangladesh and India and Egypt last year and is JUST SO COOL.

Third Oob: Election = boring, though I know a bit more about it now. Apparently Harper's culture-and-arts-cuts are having an impact, especially in Quebec (AND SO THEY SHOULD), and Margaret Wente hits Stephane Dion on the head (am I good at writing link tags or WHAT?). Poor, poor Stephane Dion. Also, ELIZABETH MAY IS ALLOWED TO THE DEBATE! Yay.

New in the World: Ohmygosh. Tragedy narrowly-avoided (and where normally I would make some crack about my toaster, this time I'm serious): someone brought a pistol to a Regina school today. Thankfully they caught him. But 10 people were killed at a school in Finland. So sad. Ohmygod, I just read that he BURNED SOME OF THEIR BODIES "beyond recognition."
I'm so close to crying right now. Peace and godspeed. <3

Read the meme.

( Meme (what, were you expecting something else?) )

Cancer (June 22 - July 22): Remember: While volunteering to remove your shoes before entering a friend's apartment is indeed polite, volunteering to remove your shirt, pants, and undergarments is anything but.
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Weenie a retourné! Elle a été en France pour trois semaines avec son ami Leila. Elle a resté à La Rochelle avec Leila, Ludovic et ses familles. Hier soir, j'ai vu les photos de ses vacances - wow! Weenie a fait beaucoup des amis, et sa français est très bien! Elle (et son cousin Moses) ont rétourné seul - sans adultes! Les parents de Leila ont donné quelque vin à Weenie (pour ses parents) - les coutoumes n'aiment pas ça!

Maintenant, Weenie dort, parce que dans 'France Time', c'est 2:00 dans le matin! La frère de Weenie, Mikhael (il s'appelle Amphibian aussi) dit qu'il ne veut pas Weenie ici - "c'est le meilleur quand elle était en France". Mais je sais que ce n'est pas vrai. Mikhael aime sa soeur - il ne le dit pas, mais je le sais.

Yza arriva dans 8 jours - un semaine! J'espere qu'elle n'aura peur des mes amies (les folles et fous...)!! Ma mère dit qu'elle aime être la mère pour les autres personnes. L'auto ce n'est pas grand, donc me soeurs attendont à chez moi quand moi et mes parents vont à la grand T.O. pour Yza. Je m'excuse: mon ordinateur était très leenntteemmeennttee aujourd'hui - car je suis à la bibliothèque publique. après ma travaille. A bientot,
-collinE

P.S. Jaden, si tu trouves les erreurs, les dit-à-moi, s'il te plait. J'ai peur que dans l'été, j'oublie beaucoup de mon français!

You know what's great? The other day in le Francais, talking with Jaden, we were saying everything in French. And everything that I needed to say, I was able to say. I'm not by any means fluet, but I can communicate with another person in a language that is not my own. And that's pretty cool. Reading Encore du Nicholas, I can understand what they're saying. I know what's going on. And I like it. This is why I do things. There's nothing worse than not understanding something. I mean, math is by no means my favourite ANYTHING, but when I'm doing questions, and it all works out logically, one after the other, and I think "I can do this", it's pretty neat. I actually like doing it.

But oftentimes when I don't understand something, I'm very quick to just say, "Oh, to hell with this." Aka, computer problems, various math equation thingers and basically science in general. It's sort of like being in a bad mood: you don't know why you're in a bad mood, and you don't particularly care. You just wish it would GO AWAY.